Mom.Dad.Chat

For this year, Chinese New Year is on Feb 7 which will signal the entrance of the Year of the Rat. On the eve, it is a tradition for family members from near and far to gather for the Chinese New Year reunion dinner at the home of the parents or grandparents. In fact, for many Chinese this is a very important event as it signifies strong family ties. When it comes to typical food eaten during a Chinese New Year reunion dinner, this is where it gets interesting:

• Fish - A must because it sounds like “surplus” in Chinese. There is also this Chinese saying, “May there be surpluses every year.” That is why fish is a must item on the menu.
• Prawn - This seafood sounds like “laugh” in Chinese. So, it symbolizes happiness for the coming year.
• Dried oyster - The pronounciation of oyster in Chinese is similar to “good things”. May the year be filled with good things happening.
• Vegetables - This is normally a vegetarian dish topped with “fatt choy” which are black hair-like moss. In the Cantonese dialect, this food item sounds like “prosperity” and is commonly served.
• Noodles - They have to be uncut to signify longevity.
• Nian gao - This is actually a brownish steam cake made with rice flour and topped with red dates. Nian means year while gao means cake but gao also sounds like “high” in Chinese. So, this represents a “high” year ahead.

I find that the Chinese always like all things symbolic with good meaning. Whatever it is, priority for the reunion dinner on the eve and the celebration on the first day of the new year is typically given to the husband’s family. So, for those families with married daughters, the reunion dinner is normally held a few days earlier. The Chinese may be very westernised in outlook now but this practice is still largely followed. So, in a way, I guess the Chinese society is still very male-centered.

Lastly, let me take this opportunity to wish all my readers “Gong Xi Fa Cai”. Gong Xi meaning “to wish”, Fa Cai meaning “be prosperous”. This is actually a more popular greeting than “Xin Nian Kwai Ler” which means Happy New Year. Aahh… that’s the Chinese for you. We are a very money-minded breed indeed.

Related Posts:

1. Chinese Wedding Traditions
2. Breastfeeding in Public
3. Chinese Superstitions

Chinese weddings can be very elaborate affairs if all the traditional practices are strictly followed. Nowadays, many couples do away with quite a few of them but for modern Chinese wedding customs and traditions based on the old ways are still largely followed to ensure a long lasting and happy marriage.

When a friend of mine got married quite a number of years ago, she actually adhered to many of these traditions. Not only she got her wedding date picked by the fortune teller but she even had an auspicious hour to step into the groom’s home. Well, the Chinese do have precise calculations for all sorts of events based on the lunar calendar as well as taking into account the person’s date and time of birth.

On the eve of her wedding, she also did the ‘combing hair’ ceremony. For the benefit of those who are in the dark, this ceremony is done for both the bride and groom separately at their respective homes whereby a senior relative who leads a good life (usually someone who is happy and wealthy with grandkids) will comb their hair 4 times with each having a special meaning. Suffice to say it is to signify a happy and long lasting marriage with many descendents.

On my friend’s wedding day, she was shielded by a red umbrella as she left her parents’ home as the opening of the umbrella also represents many descendents to come for the groom’s family. And in the groom’s home, the bridal bed was decorated in red with sweets and some traditional candies on it. A little boy was made to jump on the bed to signify that she and her husband will be fertile and quickly produce an heir.

The above are just a few of those traditions that she followed. There were others as well but guess what? She left her husband 2 years later. Of all my friends, her wedding was the steepest in Chinese tradition and custom and yet, hers ended the earliest and in bitterness.

That’s the funny thing about the Chinese (including me) sometimes. We tend to pick auspicious times, follow all the traditions and trust everything symbolic because we believe they will give us an edge in making things work. But do they?

Related Posts:

1. Chinese Superstitions
2. Pregnancy Don’ts

What do you think about breastfeeding in public? Ideally, it should be a non-issue as feeding her hungry baby is the natural thing to do for a mother. But public breastfeeding can also cause discomfort and embarassment so much so that in some cultures it is not widely practiced by a majority of women.

When I was living in Sydney, I saw many mothers having no qualms in publicly breastfeeding their babies. Now that I’m in Hong Kong, I have seen very, very few women doing it. I don’t know why but perhaps, the Asian culture of modesty makes us feel embarrassed to breastfeed in public. To show even a little of our assets seem not right somehow when strangers are walking pass.

In my home country, Malaysia, I think most women would also feel reluctant to breastfeed their babies in public. The tendency for others, especially men, to take a second look at a breastfeeding woman makes it really uncomfortable to be able to do it publicly.

Having said that, I actually have a very liberal-minded sister-in-law, who is also a Malaysian. She lives with my brother in Sydney and when they had their firstborn, my parents went over to help them out for the first few months. At home, she had no inhibitions in lowering her shirt and breastfeeding her baby in front of my dad right in the living room (it’s not a big living room where you can go and hide in a corner to do your stuff). It was my dad who got really embarrassed that each time he would get up and move to his bedroom.

I don’t know about you but for me, I don’t think I can breastfeed my baby with my father-in-law sitting right in front of me. No, I just can’t. Can you?

Related Posts:

1. Reading our Kids Fairy Tales
2. Violence on TV

Chinese superstition is actually a very rich subject as the list of taboos can be a mile long for a variety of situations and occasions. For example, Chinese New Year superstitions alone is probably enough to fill an entire A4 page and together with the other Chinese traditions and customs, they do make an interesting read.

With the Year of the Rat fast approaching, let me list out some Chinese New Year superstitions and customs here. No, don’t laugh, especially for those western readers because these are still widely practiced in this day and age.

• No sweeping and cleaning during the first day of the new year. Doing so means you will be sweeping away all the good fortune for the year.
• Repay all your debts before the new year. Otherwise, you will be owing others all through the year.
• Don’t wash your hair on the first day (for some it is for the entire first 15 days of the new year, imagine that!) either because you will be washing away all your good luck.
• Sleep past midnight on new year’s eve to ensure your parents will have a longer life.
• Set off fire crackers to welcome the new year and to chase away evil spirits.
• Put some offerings consisting of sweet and sticky cakes in the kitchen so that the Kitchen God will only have sweet things to report about your household to the higher gods for the year past. If the stickiness of the cakes makes him unable to open his mouth to say anything, so much the better.
• Pamper your kids to ensure that they do not cry on the first day. Otherwise, you may end up with whiny kids all through the year.

I think there are lots more of these but personally, I only practise the first. Mainly because it is passed down to me by my mom and although I think it is basically pure nonsense, I still find it hard to break this taboo.

That’s the funny thing about superstitions, I guess. There is certainly no logical reasoning behind them but people tend to practise them anyway. So, do you follow your own set of superstitions as well or is it only me who still practise “irrational” things like this?

Related Posts:

1. Pregnancy Don’ts

There are bound to be a lot of pregnancy dos and don’ts that you have to endure while you are carrying your child for the 9 months. The dos are usually health and medical related but the pregnancy don’ts may not necessarily be so.

For the Chinese, there is actually quite a long list of pregnancy taboos that a woman should not break while she is carrying. No, I’m not pregnant at the moment to venture into this topic but I know of someone who is and she recently asked me about this issue.

Anyway, I’m no expert but I can share with you what I was told not to do by my mom-in-law and what I read while I was pregnant with my son.

• Don’t kill any animals - Killing one may result in your child resembling that animal that you killed, be it cat, dog, snake or whatever. Not too sure if it is ok to kill the roaches, though!
• Don’t embark on any renovation - Hammering and nailing things may result in your child having a pockmarked face.
• Don’t use glue - This may result in a difficult birth. Go figure!
• Don’t move place of residence - Not too sure what’s the story behind this. Perhaps my Chinese readers can enlighten us.
• Don’t swear - This may caused your child to be cursed.
• Don’t attend funerals - Something to do with evil spirits and ghosts?

Chinese superstitions can give you a few good laughs, sometimes. But then again, when you are pregnant, it’s kind of hard not to follow some of these rules either because a mother would always wants the best for her child.

By the way, do you have any pregnancy don’ts and superstitions to share?

Related Posts:

1. Chinese Superstitions