Mom.Dad.Chat

When you see beautiful model-like women being together with ugly men, what comes to your mind? Perhaps, we may think that such a couple just don’t seem suited for each other as they are highly unmatched in looks at first glance.

But according to a research I read in a news article, it seems that the most contented marriages are those whereby the women married men less attractive than themselves. It suggested that women tend to be less picky when it comes to looks as long as the men can help them to reproduce, going by the laws of evolution. On the other hand, men are more likely to choose females based on physical attractiveness because of their inclination to pass on their genes.

The other possible reason why beautiful women end up with ugly men is because women tend to go for males that exudes charm and power and combined with wealth and status, that would just be perfect. So, men might go for looks but women might be attracted to something else entirely that has little to do with how handsome he may be.

On a personal level, my husband once told me all his family members were asking what his pleasant-looking sister saw in a man who was pimpled-faced and a little overweight when she first brought him home. Well, perhaps the answer is in the above paragraphs.  

But whatever the research may show, I still think that looks matter, whether you are a male or female. Because it is through your looks that people form their first impression and if you look beautiful, that would heightened others’ interest in you at first glance. A bit shallow, I know, but that is what first impression is all about, right?

So, would you consider dating someone who is short, fat and ugly? Put simply, would you go for looks or money?

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In many cases, we do seriously consider refinancing our housing loans but when it comes to our auto loans, we may feel it doesn’t worth the effort to look for a new lender due to the much smaller loan amount.

However, nowadays, we don’t really need to look that hard for financing options. Many websites such as FinanceGenius can help us to get the best interest rate and terms for our loans, including auto refinancing loans, to come up with a payment schedule that matches our monthly budget.

So, whether the loan amount is small or large, refinancing can be seriously considered since it no longer requires much effort to look for a new lender. Even if it is just our auto loan, it can result in savings for us if we are able to reduce the interest rate charged by the lender. On a monthly basis, the difference may not seem much if we do switch over to another lender with a lower rate, but add them up over the life of the loan and there is where we will see substantial savings.

With auto-refinance, not only we will probably end up with lower car payments, we can even try shortening the term of the loan which will translate to more savings overall. So, why pay more when we can settle for less, right?

This post is sponsored by FinanceGenius.

Gossiping is a common occurence among a group of friends but why do you think people gossip, even when they may not be close friends with whomever they may be chatting with? The fact is we all indulge in it to one extent or another and we all love a good gossip now and then.

The reasons why people gossip include:

• To break the monotony of life. Gossips make life more interesting and if we are short of topics of conversation, gossip is always a good way to fill the void. It catches peoples’ attention, provokes emotions and stimulates the mind.
• To belong. As humans, we are like to feel a sense of belonging and sharing details of someone else’s life makes us feel closer in a group setting. It provides the avenue to exchange interesting information or “secrets” and from there, a relationship is strengthened.
• To get attention. Gossiping is one way to turn the spotlight on the gossiper because it is human nature to be attracted to the person who can provide the juiciest stories about others.

When I was working in a large organization previously, gossiping among colleagues certainly spiced up the office life. People gossip in an office setting because it is one way to get informal information about various issues from fussy bosses to dating colleagues. When I was there, I too have to rely on the gossip channel to find out who to work for and how to handle certain bosses. But when you are in a large organization, gossips can also get rather malicious as it is all about control, power and jealousy as everyone wants to climb up the corporate ladder.

However, among friends, gossips can also be fun. Among my group of long-time school friends, we all gossip about each other and we are all aware of it. It is one way to know what is happening in each other’s life as we are all busy with our own families to find much opportunity to meet.

I guess it is acceptable to gossip if we really have no malicious intent and we don’t overdo it to the extent that we are spreading lies about others or running them down. Because if we all don’t gossip, life would be pretty dull, wouldn’t it?

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1. Why Women Cry
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For many aspiring authors, publishing a book is a dream come true. But if one has to rely on the traditional book publishers to get one’s writings on the market, it can be a very long and arduous journey indeed.

So, that is where innovative Book Publishers can play an important role for many writers. This include self publishing book companies such as AuthorHouse which helps writers to publish and market their books. So, whether you are a romance writer or a poet, you can utilise the site’s self publishing process to create your own book, while maintaining full control in terms of editing, design, royalties, marketing and other important aspects of publishing.

Gone are the days whereby aspiring authors were at the mercy of big publishers. Nowadays, if you believe you have a good manuscript on hand, all you need to do is to enlist the help of self publishing companies like AuthorHouse and you are on your way to publishing your very own book!

Many developed countries are facing low birth rates today and many families are reluctant to have more children. For instance, I read somewhere that Singapore has a birth rate of 1.24 per woman while Hong Kong’s birth rate is 0.98, which probably makes it the lowest among all developed nations. To maintain population growth, these two governments certainly have much to do to encourage women to produce more.

So, in Singapore it seems that there is a “love” subject at two polytechnics that students can elect to do to earn credits towards their final degree. The facilitators are provided by the government’s Social Development Unit and the curriculum include dealing with the importance of family life, long song analysis and romantic films. It seems this is one of the ways that the Singaporean government is employing to encourage youths to fall in love and build a family.

Will it work? I doubt it. Nowadays, low birth rates are commonly due to the following factors:

• Financial considerations. Raising a kid requires a huge chunk of money, from food and other basic necessities to education and extra-curricular activities. These days, all parents want the best for their kids and if they are unable to provide a certain level of luxury, many would rather have fewer or none at all.
• Time considerations. With many women out in the workforce today, having a larger family is no longer practical. As kids require much attention and love to grow while time that can be spent with them is limited, many women have chosen to have fewer children.
• Shift in outlook. In the past, the thinking is the more kids that you have, the better. But nowadays, people are more interested in quality, not quantity.

Perhaps, because we are now living in a material world, we all want a better quality of life and are just not willing to compromise on little luxuries. So, if having more kids will spread our resources too thinly, we are just not willing to adjust and make do with less.

The other issue is maybe women nowadays are also not as tough as their moms, both mentally and physically. Well, at least I know I’m not. My parents have 4 children and if you ask me to bring up 4 kids with no help, I seriously don’t think I will be able to cope. Perhaps that also explains the low birth rates these days?

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Sometimes, it is indeed hard to be totally honest with a friend. Personally, I have experienced a situation whereby I have negative opinions about my friend’s partner but because they seemed happy as a couple, I kept my mouth shut. Somehow, it just didn’t feel wise to negatively influence what seemed like a happy relationship.

So, my question to you this week:

If you find that you do not like your friend’s partner’s character, habit or personality, would you be honest and tell your friend your opinion on her/his choice of mate?

For last week’s question, please click here.

We all know that many wealthy and famous couples actually draw up prenuptial agreements prior to getting married. How much each party is entitled to should the marriage ends in divorce in terms of cash and assets are spelled out in clear terms.

But nowadays, it seems that not only the rich and famous are signing prenuptial agreements. Even ordinary couples are drawing up prenuptials prior to walking down the aisle.

What are the pros or advantages of a prenuptial agreement?

• All money and assets are out in the open.
• Rights of both parties can be protected, including that of children and step-children.
• Responsibility and expectations of each party can be spelled out.
• No messy divorce to contend with if the relationship sours.

The cons or disadvantages of a prenup are:

• Takes the romantic notion out of the relationship.
• The element of trust seems to be missing between the couple.
• When you are deeply in love, you may agree to something that may not necessarily be fair to you.
• Nobody can predict the fortunes of a couple. If your spouse’s net worth have increased during the years of your marriage, you will be limiting yourself to the agreed upon amount previously.

In these days of high divorce rates, a prenuptial agreement seems like a practical thing to have. Personally, if I’m a 30 something year old woman who have tons more money than my prospective husband, I too would probably want to have a prenuptial agreement drawn up. Who knows if the man is a gold-digger, right?

But funnily, if it is the other way round, I think I might just get offended if asked to sign one. Not only it pains me to learn that he doesn’t seem to have faith in the relationship, it is equally hurtful to know that he cares for his money more than me! But then again, if I truly love him and not after his money, it follows that I should not mind signing a prenuptial, right?

Well, maybe we all like to say that we don’t care about money but the reality may be very different indeed. So, what would you do - would you say bye-bye to someone who makes you sign a prenuptial agreement? 

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1. Why Women Cry
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3. Nagging Wife