Mom.Dad.Chat

To many people, religion is something close to the heart and even when they seek out a partner, they would prefer someone who shares the same faith. However, love is strange sometimes and even if we tell ourselves that we should only marry such and such a person, fate may have a different plan in store for us.

I have seen and heard of inter-faith marriages that work wonderfully and I have also come across relationships that falter just prior to marriage because of different beliefs. For instance, my dad has an old friend who married a woman of a different faith. Every morning, he would light up joss sticks at the home altar as a Buddhist while on Sundays, his wife would make her way to the church being a Christian. They have been doing this for decades and it doesn’t seem to pose a problem that they believe in different gods.

On the other hand, I have a Moslem friend who fell in love with a Brit while studying in the UK and because he refused to convert, they ended up going separate ways. In some cases, the difficulties of marrying someone of a different religion are many and these may include objections from parents and elders. In their eyes, marrying someone outside of their own religion may be a sin and objections are seen as being for the person’s own good.

But I also know of someone who married a husband of a different faith despite heavy objections and practically being disowned by her parents. Having been brought up as a strict Moslem, the difficulties she faces for marrying someone of a different religion not only comes from parental pressure but also the guilt within which she has to grapple with.

I think inter-faith marriages would only work if there is healthy respect for each other’s beliefs. If you try to get the person to convert if he or she is not prepared to do so, that will only spell trouble. Of course, you may think you are doing your partner good by getting him or her to believe in the “right” religion but what is right for you may not necessarily be right for another.

Furthermore, I feel that getting a person to convert because of love rather than because of something that comes from his or her own spiritual experience seems a little hollow. If you feel that you are living in sin if you have a partner of a different religion, then it is only right that you find ways to deal with your own guilt. Otherwise, asking your partner to convert to make yourself feel less sinful doesn’t seem quite right either.

Well, that’s my opinion anyway. What’s yours?

Related Posts:

1. Going Out with a Friend’s Ex
2. Do Opposites Attract?

Everyone knows the benefit of exercise. It is an activity all of us should make an effort to do, especially when age is catching up. However, I still find myself incredibly lazy when it comes to moving a few muscles.

Perhaps the thought of putting on a pair of jogging suit and sneakers to go on a run just seem a little too taxing, especially when I already feel tired taking care of a toddler the whole day. I have seen some exercise bikes at a few shops near my apartment and maybe one of those is what I need.

My parents have one in their home and I used to ride on it after work when I was living with them. It was good exercise after a long day at the office when jogging in the dark was not really a safe option. After I moved out, I have not really had the chance to get on an exercise bike. Perhaps now is a good time to consider getting one to get back to my past routine and stay healthy.

For my regular readers, I’m sure most of you know that I have a Weekend Q at the end of each week for us to think a little. What I hope to do now is to extend it to a Love Q for my poems blog.

The two main reasons why are:

• The blog does need a little exposure being new, and
• Poems alone make the blog a little boring.

But for the Love Q, I will need you to play along. Each week, I will throw out a question and you write a post on it at your own blog. Then, leave a comment at my poems blog with a link to your blog post so others can have a read. The questions will mainly be on love, relationship, dating and marriage topics.

In addition to that, I hope to generate some link love with this weekly fun. That is for each week, I would list out two names to be included in all the participants’ Love Q blog posts for the week. Maybe something to the effect that says, “Other participants of the Love Q include A and B” which you can insert in the last paragraph of your post. The two names would be from the list of participants and they will be by rotation as I go down the list each week.

Apart from giving us something to write about, I think weekly fun like this should also give us some links and exposure for our blogs to boost the community spirit. Imagine if we can have, say, 30 participants a week, there will be 30 links to your blog from other blogging friends in that particular week. Well, at least, that is what I hope to see.

Anyway, I will only start it off and type up the rules at my poems blog if I can get at least 6 participants. Otherwise, if the group is too small, it would be kind of difficult to rotate the names and get a few links for everyone.

OK, so who wants to play along?

Not long after I started blogging, I came across PayPerPost from other blogging friends. I was not interested at first but over time, I was just curious of how much I could really earn from writing paid posts and is there any benefit from doing so.

Now that I have tried it out, I think writing paid posts allow us to earn some money in a quick and easy manner. There are many ways of making money online but writing paid posts allow even those without a highly ranked site to be able earn a little income, which is what makes it attractive to many bloggers. Apart from that, the keywords required by the paid posts may also help to drive traffic to the blog, thereby giving it additional exposure.

Currently, I can’t say that I have earned much with the paid posts but it is enough to get me a nice dinner or two. Of course, it would be nice if I can increase the earnings over time but that would really depends on me to make my blog more interesting to get a higher level of traffic in order to attract advertisers. I suppose this should give me the motivation to work harder now!

When I was young, I was taught or perhaps forced, to do my share of the house chores by my mom. But I was not paid a single cent for it for my parents think that contributing my time and energy to do some house chores is necessary as I was part of the household and had a responsibility to help to keep it clean and tidy.

But I also have come across friends who were paid to do house chores by their parents. I guess different people do have different thoughts and opinions on this issue. So, let me ask you this:

Do you think our kids should be paid to do house chores?

For last week’s question, please click here.

My dad has a friend who likes to drink and never a day goes by that he doesn’t touch a bottle. It is not a small amount that he takes everyday and even though the doctor has told him to stop drinking because of deteriorating health, he has stubbornly went on with his habit.

To me, he is treading dangerously when he is hardly sober every night from those drinking sessions. As age catches up, health too is a concern if one drinks vast amounts of alcohol daily. But funnily, he doesn’t think he needs help at those alcohol rehabs when it is pretty obvious something needs to be done before it is too late.

I guess when a person doesn’t recognized that help is needed or simply doesn’t care, it is indeed hard to get him to change. And if he doesn’t want to change, getting him to quit would be an uphill task with little chance of succeeding. My dad and many other friends have advised him to at least cut down on his alcohol consumption but at the end of the day, I suppose the call to quit needs to come from within. Only then, he will make a real effort to get rid of what is obviously an addiction.

If your friend has broken up with her boyfriend, do you think it is acceptable for you to date her ex? If we have a close knit group of girlfriends, we always like to think that friendship comes first and boyfriends and even exs of our friends are off-limits.

Somehow, it doesn’t feel right to date a friend’s ex when you know she has been hurt following the split. It is like rubbing salt into the wound, especially if she is still bitter over the whole affair. Furthermore, if she thinks the ex is a jerk and he is not worth it, the fact that you are now dating him would mean that you are not paying heed to her advice and what she has to say as a friend.

But if the relationship has already ended, what wrong have you commmitted by going out with a friend’s ex? If you started the relationship before they actually broke up, then it certainly looks a little unethical. But if they have already gone their separate ways, there isn’t really anything wrong that I can see, except perhaps you have put a friendship at risk by being insensitive to her feelings.

Perhaps the way to go is to tell her of your feelings for her ex before you actually begin the relationship. Thay way, there is nothing to hide and even if she disagrees to the relationship, she is in the know of what you are up to. Although I know people tend to hide the fact that they are going out with a friend’s ex to avoid awkwardness or the thought of losing the friendship, personally I would prefer honesty and frankness from my friend if it happens to me. Otherwise, I would be even more suspicious and bitter if they are dating behind my back, only to find it out later from someone else.

So, the bottomline is I don’t think there is really anything wrong ethically if you choose to date a friend’s ex, provided you are honest with her upfront. But personally, if you ask me to choose between friendship and love, I’ll probably pick friendship, especially if she is someone that I have known for years. The reason being, if she has her opinion on why the man is a jerk, it’s probably wise for me to believe her if she is a friend whom I can trust.

Friendship or love - your call?

Related Posts:

1. Do Opposites Attract?
2. Being Friends with your Ex