Mom.Dad.Chat

I got another interesting comment the other day from someone named Ig under the post Will a Man Leave his Wife?

My husband left me for another woman and quickly “married” her after he divorced me. After 10 years of not hearing from him, he contacted me and wanted me back. He regrets leaving me and we’ve been seeing each other for the last 4 years. He has 2 children with this “other” woman.
It takes everything out of me to keep from telling this woman what is going on. She destoyed my marriage and family and yet I have to be slient to protect her feelings. Would you tell her what’s going on or let her find out on her own?
My husband won’t leave her because of the children. The only way he’s going to be free of her if she finds out about me and she’ll leave him.
I’m seriously thinking of telling her.

So, what would you do if you are Ig? It’s a tough situation to be in with a man sandwiched beween two women. But I look at it this way. If I tell, what future would I have with this man? Wouldn’t he feels betrayed and angry that I have changed the rules of the game for him? But if I don’t tell, then I may just end up sharing this man for years to come.

So, either way, it’s a potential lose-lose situation for me. Since it is not a fair gamble, I don’t even think I would want to continue playing this game. I would just call it quits. That is if I can be truly rational and put all my emotions aside. But as we all know love is blind and we get carried along.

Therefore, if I’m really in love with this man and want to keep him, then I would just have to accept the situation and plod along. I won’t rock the boat and will try to enjoy the ride while it lasts. Why don’t I tell? Simple. Because telling is this man’s responsibility, not mine. Telling could also make me carry a tinge of guilt for betraying the man I love. And lastly, telling means the man will be forced to make a choice and I would rather he decides to stick with me on his own free will than because a situation forced him to.

I guess for some people telling may be a better option. I don’t know. It really depends on your character and what you can live with, I suppose. So, would you tell the other woman if you are in Ig’s shoes?

Related Posts:

1. Will a Man Leave his Wife?
2. When you are Having a Bitter Divorce

Whenever I go and use a public toilet, I’m not too fond of those taps that require you to turn a few rounds to get the water flowing. Although there are not many toilets which use such taps now, you can still find them occasionally.

Nowadays, most taps are of the sensor type, whereby water will automatically flow when it senses movement. The other popular faucet that I see is the type that requires you to simply lift it up for water to flow.

This is also the type that I’m currently using at home. The other day, I was browsing through Danze faucets because it is high time for me to change the one for my bathroom sink. I certainly didn’t know that faucets can come in so many designs and I need to find one that is compatible with my sink.

But whatever it is, I think I will stick to the one-hand lift faucet. I find it convenient, especially when I need to adjust the water temperature. So, what type of faucets are you using at home?

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

Really? Now, how true is that? Well, we certainly have men out there with their trophy wives and perhaps, that is what the quote is trying to get at. That men will usually go for beauty rather than brains? And hence, a smart woman is usually much cleverer than a smart man?

OK, another quote on the same topic here by Kathy Lette:

Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract. 

Hmm… another way of saying that men are dumb? Sounds a little harsh, isn’t it? But if we read what Beverly Mickens have to say, men are not only dumb but can be silly as well.

I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. ‘Please, I’ll only put it in for a minute.’ What am I, a microwave?

Do you agree what have been uttered so far? If you don’t think men are dumb and silly, read what Gwyneth Paltrow has to say instead.

I love men, even though they’re lying, cheating scumbags.

Aah… the old issue of trust. That men are faithless creatures. Therefore, Kathy Lette once also said:

Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of.

So, if that is the case, what are men good for? Tim Allen offered:

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

Well, if women don’t want to end up with the wrong men, we better be prepared to learn from experience. A timely advice from Lupe Velez:

The first time you buy a house you think how pretty it is and sign the check. The second time you look to see if the basement has termites. It’s the same with men.

Have a great week ahead!

Related Posts:

1. When you are Having a Bitter Divorce
2. When Someone you Know is Cheating

Many people want to lose weight in order to stay healthy but just do not have the motivation to begin any exercise regime or just eat healthily to start with. Some start but just can’t find the inspiration to continue on that their weight loss goal becomes a failure.

If you have the aim to lose weight, you will have to stick to your plan and make it work. Eat a balanced meal and stay away from oily, fried and sugary stuff. Consume more vegetables and fruits instead. Join a gym or take up a sporting activity. Not only will exercise make you lose weight but it will also help you to stay energetic and healthy.

Apart from the above, there are also many weight loss supplements available out there in the market such as Leptovox. They too can assist you in shedding off some pounds but it is always advisable to get expert opinions to see which supplement would be suitable for your case.

Recently, I just happened to come across an article concerning strip clubs. Some find this degrading to women but still the old rule applies, i.e. when there is demand, there would be supply.

Although it is men who usually frequent strip clubs, you can also find many women in such places. Whether these women are there to keep an eye on their men or merely to have some fun, I wouldn’t know. Same goes for topless bars and other similar joints.

So, my question to you:

Would you be comfortable if your partner visits a strip club or a topless bar? Would you try to tag along if he does?

For previous week’s Weekend Q, feel free to click here.

Sometimes, it’s interesting how technology can be used, even in peoples’ private affairs. If you want to end a relationship, you can simply text or send an e-mail. If you are feeling depressed over a split from your partner, you can start a blog to vent your frustrations and loneliness.

And if you are going through a bitter divorce, you can resort to YouTube to reveal sordid details of your ex’s life. Well, if you have read the news, a British actress uploaded a YouTube recording which discusses the divorce she was having. Once married to the largest theatre owner on Broadway, she used YouTube to reveal embarassing details of her ex-husband’s private life such as how she found Viagra, porn and condoms belonging to him.

I guess when you are feeling revengeful or want a better deal out of the divorce proceedings, you simply don’t care if what you are going to broadcast will be watched by millions worldwide. Maybe this would be the trend of future divorce cases, who knows? Divorce, YouTube style!

Anyway, I think it is only common to have a tinge of bitterness when our marriage ends in divorce. But sometimes, how we come out of it also depends on our own emotional maturity. If we set out purposely to embarass our ex over the public media, it would also reflect badly on us, isn’t it?

Related Posts:

1. When Someone you Know is Cheating
2. Secrets to a Long-Lasting Marriage

I got this interesting comment by someone named Scoots for my post Between a Cheater and a Homewrecker:

“Both are responsible. And often its both who are cheating. There is a woman who works at CBORD where I work, cheating on her husband, and she thinks he doesn’t know. The guy she’s cheating with also is married. I found out about it by accident, and I hate this feeling - seeing how they set it up. Both have families and it’s awful knowing I either let them get away with it, or hurt their spouses and kids. It’s just sick.”

Well, the age-old question of telling or not telling, isn’t it? If you spill the beans, you are butting into other people’s affairs and worry about the consequences of your action. If you keep quiet, it gnaws at you seeing a wrong being committed but not having the courage to speak up. You pity the spouse and kids and wonder if telling or not telling will be better off for them in the long-run.

For me, I’m more of a mind-my-own-business type of person. I don’t like to interfere with other people’s lives and I think sometimes, it is hard to discern whether people would appreciate you telling them the truth. After all, some people would rather not know or they know but don’t want others to find out what is going on in their private lives.

The bad thing about this don’t care attitude is you may be in a position to help but you simply don’t want to make an effort. Yes, that’s me, in a way. Why want to get involved in somebody’s home life, right?

Of course, it depends on how well you know the person but even if it happens to our close friends and relatives, we may simply choose not to tell. Because telling may result in a broken family and it is hard to be burdened with the guilt of knowing you have a hand in a wrecked home. We just can’t predict the outcome although we may mean well by being frank.

That is why I think most people simply choose not to tell when they see others cheating on their partner. Whether keeping quiet is actually better or otherwise, I have no idea, though. Do you?

Related Posts:

1. Between a Cheater and a Homewrecker
2. Secrets to a Long-Lasting Marriage