Mom.Dad.Chat

Recently, I was e-mailed a task by Blogsvertise and upon completion according to the requirements, I submitted the post for approval.

A day later, someone e-mailed me to inform me my post has been rejected because my page rank had dropped. They simply asked me to delete the post if I wish.

Hmmm… usually, I don’t care much if a post is rejected because a re-submission will usually sees it get approved. But because this is the second time my post has been rejected by Blogsvertise with the first still hanging in their system unpaid for quite some time, I feel a little silly doing something for nothing.

Anyway, my question is can a paid post company reject your post after you have completed the task offered because of a drop in page rank? I have sent them an e-mail yesterday in reply to their rejection and I’m looking forward to read what they have to say.

If they don’t want to approve the posts, I don’t think I will hound Blogsvertise to pay up either as I don’t want to waste my time quibbling over twenty bucks.

I bring this up because other sponsored posts bloggers may find this case of interest and perhaps, have other similar stories to share. And of course, if you are doing paid posts for Blogsvertise, just be aware that your rejected posts may end up hanging in their system unresolved as mine did.

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I came across this article recently whereby two bachelors interviewed couples who have been married for 40 years or more to uncover the secrets to a successful and long-lasting marriage for their book, Project Everlasting.

There are actually seven secrets in all but one of them is certainly an eye-opener for me. And that secret is a four-letter word which is GIVE. All along, I believe that marriage is about equal partnership. By right, it has to be a 50/50 thing, isn’t it?

But one of the interviewee actually said, “Most people think marriage is 50/50. It’s not. It’s 60/40. You give 60. You take 40. And that goes for both of you.” I guess that is sound advice for married couples. If both spouses practise this philosophy, a marriage certainly has a high chance of enduring.

Adding on, another interviewee said, “The younger generations seem to have a sort of me-me-me mentality. The great part is that the me gets everything it needs when it puts the we first.” Wow! Doesn’t that help you understand marriage a little better?

It is just sad that these days, divorce rates are so high that we need to look for “secrets” from long-married couples. And sometimes, there are just no secrets lurking there but merely our attitude, mentality and life philosophy on sharing a life together.

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Time magazine recently interviewed a book author and counsellor on her latest book entitled When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships. It offers very interesting insights into why people have affairs and how to deal with it.

In the interview, the author mentioned that if you have cheated on your spouse, you are better off not confessing, unless one of two things happened. Firstly, there is risk of sexually transmitted disease and secondly, discovery by your partner is inevitable. Only then, should you confess.

I guess that makes sense as one would find it hard to forgive if being infected with a sexually transmitted disease by one’s very own partner. And of course, if your spouse tell you before you find out anyway, it also gives a sense honesty on his or her part and may be more forgivable.

The author’s point of view is if your partner wouldn’t find out, it doesn’t do your spouse any good by telling and it would not alleviate your guilt. She believes in not hurting someone and by telling, you are inflicting emotional pain on your partner with loss of trust, insecurity and grief being the result.

Because honesty is important, she advocates that people should choose who they want to be with, commit to it and make it the most honest relationship from then on.

OK, I think I get her point of using the moral principle of not hurting as the basis for not telling. But let’s look at the position of the partner being cheated upon. My feeling is it very much depends on each individual. Are you the type who believe that ignorance is bliss or would you rather your partner let you know instead?

Because if your partner doesn’t confess, you would think everything is well. But the fact that he or she has cheated once means there is a problem in your relationship, right? So, would not telling help your relationship in the long run? I don’t know. Do you?

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In my previous post, Keeping Up with the Kids, I mentioned about how texting can improve the communication between parents and their kids. This is because young people tend to communicate by text messages these days and this is where parents enter their world on their terms - by texting.

So, now I have found out about another teenage phenomena and that is sexting. Apparently, this is also a form of cyber-bullying whereby young cell phone owners are asked to send sexually explicit photo of themselves and most often than not, girls are targeted. Although some also do it voluntarily to get attention, many fail to realize how fast these images can be forwarded and circulated once uploaded onto the net.

As teenagers need peer approval, they do what is asked or blindly follow the trend without knowing the consequences. Because these type of images generate attention and positive reaction from the opposite sex, sexting gives a feel good effect, making girls want to do it.

So, that is part of the wonders of technology. All along, I only know about texting to communicate our messages, and now I come across sexting. I doubt many parents are aware of this because sometimes, it is just hard to keep up with what our teenagers may be doing. They are the ones who are more adept and creative at using new technologies while parents are like a generation behind.

I guess parent will always be playing catch up. Don’t you think so?

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I found this interesting question on Dear Sugar which reported on the celebrity gossip on Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty. If you are unsure what the gossip is all about, suffice to say that it is on Sienna, a single lady, being rumored to be romantically involved with Balthazar, a married father of four.

Let’s ignore the celebrity status of these people for a moment. After all, all sorts of people end up having extra-marital affairs, not only celebrities. So, let’s give this a thought this weekend:

Who do you blame more when it comes to affairs like the above - the cheater or the homewrecker?

For last week’s Weekend Q, feel free to click here.

If you sit and dream a little, what types of homes do you wish you have? For me, I always like the idea of a beach home. Being able to look out to the sea and enjoy the sound of the waves must be pretty relaxing for a change compared to the stress of living in a city suburb.

Well, since buying such a home is not within my reach, the next best bet would be a vacation by the beach. Then, I can rent a vacation home and enjoy it for the duration of the holiday. Some of these rental homes can be very luxurious indeed. Try going through Outer Banks rentals and you can see for yourself those oceanfront estates that you can only dream about.

Anyway, staying in a vacation rental home is fun, especially if you have a group of family and friends holidaying together. It beats the impersonal nature of a hotel room anytime.

The Big Fairy Tale

One day, long, long ago…
There lived a woman who did not whine, nag or bitch.
But this was a long time ago… and it was just that one-day.

The End

This was from an e-mail I received from a friend recently. It’s funny when you read it and get the message. But it also reinforces a stereotype that women tend to whine, nag or bitch, isn’t it?

Well, I think there is a grain of truth to it; otherwise, we wouldn’t find it funny. Of course, not all women whine or nag but put all of us together and you would find few wouldn’t have these traits. Don’t you agree? 

OK, another stereotype of a woman, now a married one that came from Crazy-Jokes:

A reinforcement that women would avoid sex after marriage if they can? I don’t know how far the truth is with this one since different married couples do have different relationship dynamics between themselves. But who haven’t read of women’s headache or period excuse when it comes to sex?  

So, any truth to the above stereotyping of women?

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