Mom.Dad.Chat

When a relationship ends, there are bound to be a few things that we would have learned along the way. The interesting thing is whether the lessons affect us in a positive or negative way.

I know of someone who learned never to be so trusting again when her relationship ended on a sour note. While it is natural for us to protect ourselves from being in the same predicament again, I guess if we make it a point to enter another relationship with a suspicious mind, it is not necessarily a good thing either.

The above is just another perspective to a question brought up by JM recently:

What lessons have you learned in previous relationships that you have brought into your current relationship/will bring into future relationships?

Personally, I can’t say I have learned much from previous relationships as they are hardly meaningful ones with any deep feelings. If I did learn anything from them, perhaps it is never to waste time in relationships which I know will never go anywhere. Not only are they superficial, they might also lead the other party on when it is clear to me there can never be anything more than friendship.

I don’t have any really bitter experiences that result in hard-hitting lessons like what happened to some people I know. So, in a way, I consider myself lucky not to have to carry any baggage from previous relationships when I dated my husband.

As I have mentioned earlier, lessons learned from previous relationships can both be a good and a bad thing. They may make you wiser but they can also hold you back in your future relationships.

Related Posts:

1. Number of Dating Partners Before Marriage
2. The Opposite of Love

Recently, I was told that consuming a little wine everyday is good for long-term health. While I’m not a regular wine drinker, I have been told by many that once I get into the habit, I will find it hard to break it off.

I have tried a few wines from different regions and it is interesting to experience the different tastes and flavors. I was also told that if I’m really interested to experience the different wines and want to make drinking wine a regular habit, I should consider joining wine of the month club. It is a way to get to taste a variety of wines and perhaps, at a better price.

Joining a wine club is certainly a good idea as one can get to experience wines from different wineries. If drinking wine regularly also leads to better overall health, that’s certainly an added bonus indeed.

We all know about the game Monopoly and I’m sure all of us have played it at one time or another.  Just yesterday, I was at my sis-in-law’s place and was observing some kids playing Monopoly.

Because of the vast age difference between the youngest and the oldest child, the question of giving the youngest some advantages and letting her win arose. I was just wondering do you as parent let your child win each time you play games with him or her? And do you frequently ask your elder children to give way to the youngest one?

If you purposely lose a game when you are playing with your child, does that build self-confidence? Or should you just play fair like normal and aim to win the game?  That would then teach him or her that life is not all about winning and we all have to accept losses now and then. That’s is, after all, the reality of life, right?

I know a lot of parents will give in and let their child win in any games that they play. I guess it very much depends on the age of the child as it would be kind of silly to lose a game on purpose to a 16-year-old. But what if your child is 5 or 7 or 9-years-old? Should you still lose a game in order to let them have the satisfaction of winning? Just like the Monopoly game that I witnessed, would you ask a 14-year-old to give away the game to let a 5-year-old win?

Young kids always have this “me” mentality which is probably why they don’t like to share and neither do they like to lose, even if it’s only a game. As a parent, it would be interesting indeed to hear how other parents guide their kids to shed off this mentality. Care to share?

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If you want to lose weight and is thinking of getting diet pills to help you along, I’m sure you would be wondering which would be the best diet pill for youself. The reality is there is a huge range of diet pills being sold today that anyone who wants to lose weight would find it confusing as to which type of pill to buy.

One way to find out is to do some research over the net. Nowadays, there are many weight loss websites with a host of information about diet pills available in the market. There are articles to explain the ingredients in each type of pill and which would be most effective under different circumstances.

Some websites also allow for readers comments and you can find out a lot by browsing through what others have to say about a particular pill since they are the ones who have given it a try. So, if you are confused about which pill to buy, do some research and ask for professional opinion.

Have you given it a thought of what would be the ideal number of dating partners to have before you even think of marriage? Because this issue about marrying the only person you have ever dated was asked recently:

Do you think it’s healthy/unhealthy to marry the only person you have ever dated? Does it matter if a person marries their first love?

In her blog, JM raised this thought-provoking question. To me, I think it can’t really be unhealthy to marry your first love because if he is the one for you, it would be silly to give up on him just because he happens to be the first person you ever dated.

Perhaps what this question wants to point out is how do you know he is the one for you if you have never ever dated anyone else. Which brings us to the the first question I raised in my opening paragraph above. If our first love shouldn’t end in a marriage, is marrying our second love healthy? How many people should we date before it becomes healthy to marry?

So, I believe it is neither healthy nor unhealthy to marry our first love. Just as it is neither healthy nor unhealthy to marry our second, third or fourth love. Because there are simply no guarantees that a marriage will work and you will be happier even if you have dated scores of people before you settle down.

Related Posts:

1. The Opposite of Love
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With the holiday season approaching fast, it will be good to make some travel arrangement plans for the family to get away for a trip or two. Some friends have recommended Las Vegas and even my parents have visited the place a few years back with good memories.

They stayed in a nice Vegas hotel and had a great time sight-seeing. They also took many pictures which showed the vibrant night life of the city with its brightly-lit casinos. 

It would be nice to be able to make a trip there and experience the sight and sound of Las Vegas. If I don’t get to go this year, I think I will definitely make plans for it come next year.  

What is the opposite of love? This is one interesting quote from one of the characters of the show Desperate Housewives on this topic:

The opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s indifference. And if you hate me, that means you still care and we’re still connected and I still have a chance to set you right.

Actually, I read of the same idea on one of those sites advising people on how to win back their ex. That once a love sours, time will reduce the anger or hate to indifference and when that happens, the task to win back his or her love becomes much harder.

I guess indifference is a signal that the heart has healed and one is moving on. Love and hate are powerful emotions that drive us to act on something confronting us. On the other hand, indifference borders on not caring and little can disturb the feelings in our heart.

Anyway, I still think go by the convention that the opposite of love is hate. Simply because both are strong emotions but with one being positive and the other negative. When you love a person, you want the best for him. But when a relationship comes to an end and you hate the person, you probably wish all his future girlfriends are of the worst kind. That is bad, I know, but well, that’s the opposite of love, isn’t it?

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