Jan 01 2008
How Many Kids to Have?
How many kids am I going to have? A typical question for many young families today. Since this is a mom and dad chat site, lets share a little of how each of us decide on the number of kids to have after we have committed ourselves in a relationship.
Right now, I have one son. When I married my husband, we did not talked about kids and stuff. It’s more of take it one day at a time sort of attitude. No family planning issues seriously discussed except perhaps, my husband’s general talk of wanting 3 kids, to which I said no.
As my son grows, I’m still undecided whether I should have one more child. But I know of friends who actually made serious plans on how many kids that they want to have and not long after their marriage, out come the babies. It certainly seems like they have a very well-planned “project”, unlike me.
So, how do you decide on the number of children to have? Do you actually have a plan from the very beginning and you stick to it or are you like me, who just doesn’t seem to have a clue, even after a few years of marriage?
I always wanted 3 children
After having 2 I was on my own for 7 years and never dreamed of meeting someone special and having another child
Eventually after 7 years of not dating I dated a few men and met Mr Wonderful
He is a diabetic and we didnt think he could father children
As it turns out I did get preggy and now we have our Little Man
I however regard myself as only having 2 children though
as in 2005 my daughter falsely accused us of some terrible things and she now is estranged from us
would I have another child
I dont know
I felt that being an older lady being preggy again at the age of 35 very hard
Mr Wonderful would love another child
parts of me wish I had meet him years ago we probably would have had about 3 or 4 children had we
BTW Happy New Years TM
hope its a good one to you and yours
blessings
jen’s last blog post..2008
We have two and they are all we will have. I didn’t get married until I was nearly 30. I had #1 at age 31.5 and #2 at age 34. Both of my boys have health issues (#1 had open-heart surgery at 6 days of age, and may require future surgery; #2 has Sensory Processing Disorder which is part of the Autistic Spectrum). I have difficult pregnancies and #2 required bed rest for the last 6 weeks.
We did talk about children in the beginning and figured that three was a good number. There is a part of me that would still love a daughter. Had our first two children not had health issues and had my pregnancies been easier, perhaps we would have tried for a third soon after our second. But, I’m 41 now and the fact that I’m considered high risk without my age being considered means that we’re not having any more. But, two is what we were blessed with and we’re happy with our family as it is. I love that my boys have each other and even though they fight like normal siblings do, they also love each other and look out for each other.
Holly’s last blog post..Happy New Year
We have 2 girls now and we plan to have two more. Muahahaha…We always wanted a big family as KW came from a family of 4 siblings where i have 2 brothers as well.
We discussed on how many children we wanted to have in how many years. It’s more like a detailed plan of family planning, a kid in 2-3 years time. So far so good, we are on track… “)
kerry’s last blog post..Happy New Year 2008
Never planned in advance, was quite happy with two until number 3 came along. Threw the equation a little out of balance, but whats done cant be undone.
Thanks for visiting my blog! Happy New Year!
I would like to have 3 … but I think TWO is for us now.
Mmm.. I also don’t have a good family planning but I guess having a boy and girl would be nice
Happy New Year!
haha…a difficult question. it all depends on yourself and wat kind of family (big or small) would like to have when you are old. I think of it this way…and i hope a big and noisy family.
chinnee’s last blog post..The use of plastic
my hubby have many many siblings, 11 of them and i hv 4. hubby wants as many as possible. i want max 4. we talk about this even before we got married.
now i hv 3 and i hv enuf! after the 3rd pregnancy n breast infection that i went thru. i am very fearful to get pregnant again n to breastfeed.
hubby still wants another one but am delaying it as long as possible.
miche’s last blog post..Happy New Year!
Well, I think people who “plan” how many kids they “will” have before even trying are definitely starry-eyed optimists. Because, let’s face it, you have no idea if you can have biological kids at all.
That said, I would not have more than 2 biological children. The planet is overpopulated. 2 kids is replicating our number. More than that is contributing to the overpopulation, plus American kids have a larger environmental footprint than kids in many other nations. It just feels ecologically irresponsible to me…
I would, however, adopt another child if my husband weren’t so opposed to having more children.
Emily R’s last blog post..The Lazy Mother?s Guide to Bathroom-water conservation
Before I married, I planned to have 4 kids (hope to have 2 boys & 2 girls), but of coz things will not turn out so perfect. I have just give birth to a baby girl this year, which is 1 month before I turn 31. So now I wish to have another 2 more kids before I reach age 37.
Chris Bay’s last blog post..Ferber?s ?Cry It Out? baby sleep training method? No, thank you.
While you can enter marriage with an ideal number of children that you wish to have, don’t ever force yourself to stick to it. Things change. Opinions, health issues, etc.
I, however, managed to get exactly what I hoped for. I had always wanted 2 kids - both girls. Voila — I now have 2 kids - both girls. PERFECT!!
It gets a bit tricky, though, when one spouse wants more and one spouse is finished. My hubby would love to have one more child, but I have no desire to increase my family size. So far we are agreeing to stop at the 2 that we have, although I still get pressure every once in awhile from him to try for one more.
Don’t stress about it too much. If you’re not sure you want another one, probably best to wait until you’re more decisive about it. As you know, having a child is a major decision. Although, my sister once said that if you’re not sure if you’re done or not, then you’re probably not done. She then said “You will never regret having another child, but you might regret NOT having another child…”
Andrea’s last blog post..goldilocks and the goober
I am as clueless as you. When I asked the hubby about our Christmas plans for 2008, he cheekily said I’d probably be in post-delivery confinement. Aikss………. Seriously I am a bit reluctant going through the whole thing again but on the other hand, I do wish to have a sibling for my Little Monster
ann’s last blog post..Hello 2008 …
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
My hubs and I both come from families of 4 kids each so before we got married we both wanted 4 kids. However, I had a stroke after my 1st pg and as a result my 2nd pg was high risk.
We may have 1 more, I go back and forth on this. My body is getting a much needed rest for a while right now but I am 33 and he is 38 so we don’t want to wait too much longer. We probably won’t be having 4 though.
Kerry’s last blog post..Boston memories
My father was an only child and for that reason I was always sure I would have at least two children. I ended up having 4 - not totally my plan, but it’s working out wonderfully. I love that I have all of these children that will, hopefully, come back to me one day when I am older. Take care and you will figure it out! Happy New Year. Kellan
I knew I wanted six children. We got five. We are happy and the children are all a blessing.
marsha’s last blog post..2008
For a long time we decided that we would only stick with the one we had, but then we decided to have another one. It took us a few years and some heart break, but we finally had a little boy three years ago today. I think we will stick with just the two.
Tammy’s last blog post..HAPPY BIRTHDAY AIDAN
I currently have 4 children. 2 boys and 2 girls, ages ten, four, two and three months.
I would love to have more children, but my husband is not found of that idea at all.
All of my children have been a god send, as they told me when I was 16 years old I would never be able to have any children. So, I have been blessed, but would still love to add one more to the family.
WAHM Tara’s last blog post..Entrepreneur’s Get Ready For The New Year
i always want a daughter, but 2 are definitely enough for me.
if one, actually a bit lonely..
huisia’s last blog post..A brand new year 2008
At first, we thot 4 would be nice. But after having 2 (a girl n a boy), I think that’s enuff! Thankfully hubs agree with me on that.
slavemom’s last blog post..Impressive Service
This is a tough one for us (literally). We are blessed to have 1 - but i would LOVE just one more!
MamaGeek’s last blog post..Ball? Someone? Anyone?
Hey hi there,, well us WAY back when first I wanted 22 yeah that was quickly forgotten. So then we said opps ok there is one and then another what to do then,,, well after we moved to Arizona we thought one more but then we started fostering and ended up with 3 more and THAT was enough. I think it is a play it by ear and see how we feel kinda thing with us. Good luck BUT I will tell you that I am an ONLY and it is NOT too much fun.
Just a mom’s last blog post..IT IS JANUARY FIRST,,,,,,
My hubby and I never talked about it before our marriage but deep in my heart I would like to have 2, coz my mom also has me n my brother only, hahaha…
in my point of view, 1 kid will be too little for me, no sibling to share, and 3 will be a bit more since the living and future education will cost a bomb, so 2 will be just nice
and my hubby knew what I had in my mind…he is very happy with his 2 lovely kids
Martini’s last blog post..Happy New Year 2008
Before I was married I thought I would want 4 children. Then I got pregnant and married and had my oldest son. I was pretty sure I would have more some day, but had no plans of when that would be. Later. that was all I knew.
2 years later I was pregnant again with my second boy. It felt very soon, but we were so happy to have him.
Then we were done. Our youngest was 5 and we were sure that we would not have any more children. Little did I know I was pregnant! When we found out and got used to the idea we knew this was what we really wanted. One more to round out our family! Maybe a little girl this time! Number 3 was a stillborn daughter who was born at 21 weeks gestation. We were devastated and wanted her more than anything we could imagine.
After our daughter’s death, I wanted another child more than anything, but I could not decide to get pregnant, I was too scared. About a year later I did get pregnant with our third little boy. It was scary and wonderful and we can not imagine our life without him. I knew as soon as he was born that I wanted one more baby, another girl I thought. And 18 months later God delivered our second daughter, healthy and strong. We are so thankful for our 4 living children and our daughter in heaven. I feel like we grew into parents of 4, as life changed and shaped us. We couldn’t totally plan it out, we couldn’t see what the future would hold, how our hearts would feel.
Kristen’s last blog post..My New Year’s Resolution is:
I am not married yet. But just like many other girls who have imagine and planed for their future marriage live, I have always wanted to have 3 but as I grew older, the number of children that I intend to have become less and less. As of current state, I am thinking of NONE… hahaha. I think basically this kind of decision might change as we grow older. Added with our own life experience and level of maturity, this drastic decision of how many children we want to have might change at the end of the day. What if you plan to have 3 but at the end you realise that you both could not support 3 children? I think at the end, it still boils down to taking it one day at a time and depending on your current hearts and desire or financial situation.
amidrin’s last blog post..Last day of 2007
I never planned to have any….then my daughter came along, and I am happy with just her.
Jacki’s last blog post..All Through The House
Your family size is totally dependent upon what your heart tells you to do. So much has factored into what I would love our family to be. I have 3 children currently, and plan, God willing, to have a family size of 5 children. I’d like to be pregnant this year, actually. Some would say I’m crazy, but I don’t feel the need to explain my decision to any one, when it comes to my growing family. I’m doing what I love, my husband is right here beside me, and we have enjoyed creating a beautiful family together.
My wife wants 99 kids. No seriously…she wants a bunch. I would be happy with 2. I’m hoping we can compromise on 3. I’m going take it one kid at a time and decide if I am ready for more…
BTW: I like the new site!
Jared’s last blog post..Humanality
My children are four years apart… we waited because we weren’t sure we wanted more than one child. I’m glad we did decide to have a second child, since we now have a daughter and a son.
Tara R.’s last blog post..Random Wednesday
well, i always knew that i wanted more than 2 children and more than 2 cats…strange, i know. but…after my 2nd child, my daughter, i almost died…long story, i’ll post about it, soon…anyway…i thought that i was done having kids…at only 2 and 29 years old. i got divorced. ruined a couple of relationships because i didn’t think i could have any more kids…another post…but, then, i met hubby. he had 2 kids…who we have custody of. and, seeing i was only 33…we found out that it was ok to have one of our own…doctors said it wouldn’t kill me, after all. so, i went from 2 to 5 kids!!! yikes!
that’s how my decision was made…in a weird sort of way but, it worked out just fine. a couple too many kids but…oh well!
xo
2 is enough for me, i have 1 son with 2 yrs old, but I can’t get pregnant now due to my health problem. may be few years later i will go for 2nd baby…
Lovelymummy’s last blog post..To the park again
My plan was to have 3 children with the gap of 2 years before I get married and now I have achieved. I think there is no formula when it comes to this question. It’s really a personal choice. How many would depend on the couple, their financial capability, their love for children, etc.
JO-N’s last blog post..A TIC or A FIT?
Before I had any kids, I’ve always wanted to hv 3 kids as I have 2 brothers myself (3 of us altogether in my family). When I couldn’t conceive any sought fertility treatment, I told myself that if God could only give me 1 child, I’ll be very thankful.
After I had Alycia, I wanted another child. When God was kind enough to grant me Sherilyn, I told him thank you very much, 2 is definitely enough. I want quality children, not quantity. I want to give my kids quality education and that means a lot would have to be saved for their education in future.
However, hubby wanted another child. So how? I cant say no right? So here I am with bb no. 3 on the way. And that means extra expenses and more would have to be saved for our 3 kids’ education in future. Hubby even wants no. 4 but it is a big no no for me now!
Shireen’s last blog post..Chef In The Making
This is a touchy subject for many. My husband and I got married when we were 21 and said we would wait five years before having our first child. We changed our mind about 8 months later and decided to start trying. We know have 6 daughters who we absolutely adore. All of them are gifts from God and we leave this up to him as to how many children we will have. We just had a miscarriage in Novemeber which was very difficult because we have never had any complications. I pray that God blesses us with many more children. This is a decision you and your husband need to pray about and both be onthe same page. God bLess and I am really enjoying getting to know you from this site.
Susan’s last blog post..Homeschooling Blues and Blessings
I always wanted a bigger family, but I didn’t get married until I was 32. I had my first at 34 and now we have 3 daughters. Our second daughter is very special needs. I only have one sister and ALWAYS envied families that had a bunch of kids. They seemed to have so much more fun than we did!
I am now 40 (close to 41) and my husband thinks we are done. However, every once in a while I get the baby itch. I really love big families. I love how my girls have so much fun together, I think that one more would only add to the fun! Of course, there are those days that 3 is all I think I can handle.
I guess I need to decide very quickly, times a wasting!!!
Irene’s last blog post..My collection of humorous holiday tidbits
For me, all the while, in my dream, I wish to have 2 boys and 1 girl, (without telling my hubby at all), and currently I have 2 adorable boys, and I’m not planning to try for a girl anymore…he,he…2 is enough for me to handle.
We have always wanted only one kid. We thought our family is complete with one. But after having Ashley, our 2nd born, we now would love to have more !!
allthingspurple’s last blog post..Now its TAG 5 THINGS !!!
this is the dilemma that we are currently facing i.e. whether to add on another one after the twins!
i had always wanted 2 but i just loooooong for a daughter too much so will see what “HE” has plan for us…..
jacss’s last blog post..Headache or Not….check it out ???
No plan how many we want. But at least two I hope. At least then they each will have a sibling. My husband only has a sister, while I came from a 3 children family. We’ll take it one day at a time. Sometimes if you plan it, and it didn’t work out the way you planned, it may be upsetting.
We wanted to have 3 at first. We kind of made that knowledge public to every people.
Then, after having the 1st one, we tasted the first bite of what they call - financial burden. We started realizing children = life-time-debt.
Then, I hated my second pregnancy, like having to bear all sufferings on my own, no one seem to be interested in the second baby (maybe a girl?).
We have then decided to stop at 2.
Suzette’s last blog post..I won in the ?Jingle all the way contest?!