Jan 02 2008
Reading our Kids Fairy Tales
Have you ever given it a thought about whether there are any harmful effects on reading our children fairy tales? Or even why are we reading our kids fairy tales in the first place? Seriously, there are studies done on fairy tales stories and psychological effects on children but they vary on the findings.
Personally, when I was young, my parents never read me any bedtime stories. When I was old enough to learn how to read on my own, naturally, I started with those classic fairy tales such as Cinderella and Snow White. For a while, I did believe that all step-mothers are evil, just as how they are described in those stories. Talk about stereotyping.
Anyway, as I grow older and learned more about the world around us, I began to understand that those are just stories and not real. So, in a way, I think fairy tales are harmless and it is such a natural part of our childhood.
Having said that, I’m still wondering whether I should start the habit of reading my son fairy tales as part of his bedtime routine. I mean, what do you tell your kids when it comes to the end, just as they are falling asleep? Do you encourage them to believe that “everyone lives happily ever after” and leave them to carry that message in their head when they fall asleep? Or do you go on to explain to them that the world is not always as rosy as it seems?
instead of fairy tales, how about bible story?
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Hi! First of all I would like to wish you a Happy New Year!!
Very interesting post. Last year I bought a collection of tales by Hans Christian Andersen. To be honest I really struggled not to put the book down because I found so many things that I found outrageous. I bought the book because of a childhood memory. When I was a kid I read the story of the little mermaid and was shocked (it is very different to the new version) because at the end there is blood, a knife and she dies…very disturbing images for a 5 or 6 year old kid. I think I will very careful when choosing fairy tales for my kids (when I have them)
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i am not reading fairy tales to my son,
because 9 out of 10 ended up ‘happily ever after’!
and in life, this is so not going to happen just because the prince meet a beautiful lady and married her.
the beautiful lady might turn out just as evil…..
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That’s an interesting question. I think fairy tales of great for kids, as it takes their minds to far away places and helps to encourage their imaginations - it is good in that way. Children love to hear fantasy stories - they love them best of all - and it is because they are not true and they somehow get that! It’s obviously good to inform them of how to balance the messages being told in these fantasy stories, but I have 4 kids - that I read fairy tales to - that have not confused the issues in their real life. Kids learn quick enough that things don’t always go their way - that life is not always rosey - the learn it very quick. Great post - see you soon. Kellan
Really, when I think about it. We all have our happily ever after, what ever “happily ever after is”. What have what we make of our lives. It is possible, in my eyes, for us all to have a taste of heaven upon this some times horrid earth. Not to say that it all is bliss, every moment of every day. I have over come huge obstacles in my life - I have been abandoned my parents, abused, molested, done drugs, been self destructive, and yet - - here I am today, living my happily ever after. I’ve been married 9 years, have 3 beautiful children, have a small, yet precious home. In my opinion, I intend to let my children believe in the fairy-tale side of life for as long as their childhood-innocence allows. After all, the truly hard part is just around the corner.
hmm… interesting.. my son is still a baby and I planned to read fairy tales to him… partly for nostalgic reasons. I still believe in reading fairy tales to kids as it helps stimulate imagination (as Kellan has mentioned) but it also helps to inform them that the world doesn’t always work that way. Probably can have a discussion on what they think of the the fairy tales after reading to them… that’s what my mum did
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Ive read both fairy stories and bibles stories to my boys
reading is important
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happy new year!fairy tales stories is just a fairy story..sometimes kids need to imagine to a wonderful world too.Find a good author of the storybooks is important too.:)
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I read my kids anything they will listen to, fairy tales included. Sure, life is hard, but when they are little, do they really need to know that? I also think it helps to develop their imaginations. Reading should be an adventure. Let it take them places they’ll never go. Even if it is make believe!
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I read to my son, but not fairy tales. Not because I think they are bad, but because he’s a boy and doesn’t like them. He usually picks out a Thomas the Tank Engine book for me to read him at bed time.
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I sometimes think we read too much into things and try to be too protective. I will read my kid pretty much anything they want to listen to - there are so many other things to worry about - I’mnot concerned about fairy tales.
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My first story for Ian was Alibaba and the 40 thieves. He loves it coz he is a boy and doesn’t like those ‘girly’ stories.
However, after I told the story a few times, I suddenly realized (yes a late relization) that the story is violent. Indeed very violent, even the way Alibaba (or his maid) killed the 40 thieves.
I then stopped telling him that story, but he kept asking for it.
Now, I tell him made up stories of mine.
WRT fairy tales, it is not my choice not to tell him, he is just not interested! LOL!
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My hubby reads to the girls more often than I do…. My parents also never read bedtime story to us when we were little…. Both my girls love to be read and I honestly believe it’s a good thing + the bonding part too…
although i have grow bigger, i still love fairy tales story, it’s wonderful and imagination. i think boys will feel it boring to read this type of story.
I agree that reading is the most important thing. I don’t mind fairy tales or anything that sparks the old imagination!
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I say let them believe in the fairy tale. It’s a bit like believing in the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. We all learn the truth eventually but how fun it was to believe at the time. (I still believe in Santa, BTW.)
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I wouldn’t want something to saccharine or anything that’s going to keep them up late at night, either.
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Interesting…I am not sure how I feel about this, on the one hand I think that all reading is good reading, and fairy tales can spark creativity in children, so that makes them good.
On the other hand, having kids think that life always ends up peachy can be bad.
I want my children to be optimistic, but a healthy dose of reality isn’t going to hurt them either.
So, I say read whatever interests your kids, but put emphasis on the “Make Believe” world that fairy tales exist in.
Take Care
LJ
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I have been thinking about this question too but I still carry on with reading to my kids fairy tales. There is no harm if we tell them that this is only a fairy tale, which is not real. There are many good elements to learn from the fairy tales as well.
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I was never read to as a child but my Dad used to make up stories - much better!
I read to my boys, sometimes fairy stories I just explained that whatever I read was ‘just’ a story. I wouldn’t worry about it too much after all most of us have been brought up on fairy stories and the ‘majority’ of us turned out ok!
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Just reading is important. I love any books!
hey aud, got time for meme?
http://littlepaces.com/?p=670
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I think that the original fairy tales can be very dark and violent. My kids are way too young for that. And I don’t need three AM screaming from nightmares…
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Good question! I think consciously or unconsciously, as parents, we do paint a rosier picture to our kids, but yes, you’re right that they need to have a balanced view of life. Which sometimes, does come across to them in other ways, like everyday things, playing nicely vs being mean, or if something doesn’t work out and they learn that not all things turn out well.
I like to read with my boys, although they are not into fairy tales. The library here has quite a decent selection of children’s stories. I let the kids pick their own books, besides those I pick out, and when I least expect it, it becomes like a theme for us for the week. Right now, it’s reptiles!
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Oh, what a question. I find many fairy tales too violent and yes, too rosie. We are a family of readers and always keep on the look out for good books to read. There are some out there…but we tend to stay away form the old original fairy tales.
Funny story - when I was 2 my parents drove to Florida. My mom read me Peter Pan outloud in the car as we drove. One day she saw I had fallen asleep, so she shut the book. My father exclaimed, ” don’t stop reading now, I want to find out what happens!” He had never read the story and was so intrigued by it.
Thanks for getting me thinking.
Happy new year! Love the new site!
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Yes there are negative stereotypes and such in fairytales, but there are in everything. One poster suggested Bible stories, which can lead to explanations of things like polygamy, slavery, and prostitution. In the Disney movies, if the main character has a parent at all that parent is usually killed off. Dora the Explorer wanders around in the wild with no parental supervision. If you look for it, you will find something alarming in anything. Kids need to be exposed to things in order to grow. Take advantage of stereotyping and such in stories to talk to your child about what’s wrong with the situation, keeping them in a bubble is detrimental.
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I guess I never really thought about it! I LOVED fairy tales as a child. I don’t think I had any ill effects because of them. They were just a wonderful childhood memory. As I grew up, I learned that real life is very different, and I went on with my life.
My daughters love the princesses, they dress like them and they watch all the movies. I don’t necessarily think that kids that young need to know that life is “not a fairy tale” right now. They spend so few years being innocent. Before I know it, the innocence will be gone and they will know that life is hard, sad, unfair and nothing like a fairy tale. Why take away something they love so much because it is unrealistic? I don’t think it will hurt them one tiny bit. They are just children right now.
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Wow! These are great ideas on this issue. May I link my blog to this one and vice versa?
Thanks. Katew
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It nvr crossed my mind abt the effects of reading fairy tales. I assume they’d understand that life is nvr perfect when they grow older.
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