Jan 30 2008
Chinese Wedding Traditions
Chinese weddings can be very elaborate affairs if all the traditional practices are strictly followed. Nowadays, many couples do away with quite a few of them but for modern Chinese wedding customs and traditions based on the old ways are still largely followed to ensure a long lasting and happy marriage.
When a friend of mine got married quite a number of years ago, she actually adhered to many of these traditions. Not only she got her wedding date picked by the fortune teller but she even had an auspicious hour to step into the groom’s home. Well, the Chinese do have precise calculations for all sorts of events based on the lunar calendar as well as taking into account the person’s date and time of birth.
On the eve of her wedding, she also did the ‘combing hair’ ceremony. For the benefit of those who are in the dark, this ceremony is done for both the bride and groom separately at their respective homes whereby a senior relative who leads a good life (usually someone who is happy and wealthy with grandkids) will comb their hair 4 times with each having a special meaning. Suffice to say it is to signify a happy and long lasting marriage with many descendents.
On my friend’s wedding day, she was shielded by a red umbrella as she left her parents’ home as the opening of the umbrella also represents many descendents to come for the groom’s family. And in the groom’s home, the bridal bed was decorated in red with sweets and some traditional candies on it. A little boy was made to jump on the bed to signify that she and her husband will be fertile and quickly produce an heir.
The above are just a few of those traditions that she followed. There were others as well but guess what? She left her husband 2 years later. Of all my friends, her wedding was the steepest in Chinese tradition and custom and yet, hers ended the earliest and in bitterness.
That’s the funny thing about the Chinese (including me) sometimes. We tend to pick auspicious times, follow all the traditions and trust everything symbolic because we believe they will give us an edge in making things work. But do they?
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Wow, that’s interesting. There is superstition in every culture, but not necessarily tied to marriage like that. I don’t have any answers only more questions!
MamaGeek’s last blog post..My Alarm Clock
True, true…so, for me, I don’t really practise it during my wedding time - a very simple ceremony(thanks to my mom and FIL who is not so particular about it), and I’m still happy with 2 boys and hubby……even choosing a baby name, some ask teller to figure it out….;P
When I got married, I followed everything my MIL said. My parents are English educated and they do not know much about these traditions. To me, it is better and much simpler if we just have a buffet dinner in the house but again, out of respect, we did what the old folks wanted.
JO-N’s last blog post..Demand Less and Thank More
Dunno, but yes, the Chinese have their ways. Then again, everyone does.
shireen’s last blog post..Glasses vs Contact Lenses
Oh, I strongly against following those Chinese traditions and hocus-pocus belief. They are always ridiculous and unlogic that to me it is just something which makes the married couple burden with unnecessary things to do.
Amidrin’s last blog post..Perfect revenge?
What a wise, thought-provoking post.
I think red is beautiful at weddings, and I think they sound like lovely traditions.
Momo Fali’s last blog post..Fairy Tale Lost
My brother married a girl from a wealthy Chinese family last year. They had a combination Western / Chinese wedding, it was really neat to be a part of. Especially the 16 course reception meal!
Marie’s last blog post..Starbucks!
might as well follow then to blame everything it on ourself in case anything goes wrong later!
chinnee’s last blog post..Family Zodiac Compatibility
Luckily my family n in-laws don’t follow all the traditions. A lot of things were simplified. We din even hv to deco the bridal room as our ceremonies were held in our hometowns.
What I think is, follow whatever that u’re comfortable doing. If u hv to go thru too much hardship just to comply, then it defeats the purpose.
slavemom’s last blog post..The Hunt For Detergent
I’m waiting for my ‘auspicious’ date from the fortune teller. I’m not superstitious but since the future in-laws believe in it, we have to abide by some of the old customs. I think there should be a limit though! With the tradition of someone carrying a red umbrella for the bride, what kind of person should this be? I’ve tried researching this on the web, but can’t find anything on it!
Hi Maggie,
I just got married and my red umbrella was carried by my bridesmaid. The bridesmaid however should be unmarried. The customs under which I got married said the red umbrella symbolized shielding me from all evil while I read somewhere in another area it meant bringing lots of descendants for the groom. Guess it depends on which region the families are from.
Best of luck.