Feb 22 2008
Is My Husband Cheating?
Trust is obviously a very important foundation in any relationship. Yet, ‘I don’t trust my husband’ is a common problem among many married women. So, how do you deal with trust issues with your spouse?
About a year or two ago, my husband and a good friend of his used to work in the same company. Every week, they spent about 3 nights away from home in the company’s factory in China. Sometimes, the friend’s wife would call my husband to ask for her husband as some sort of spot check. Her thinking was if her husband was with mine, then he can’t be fooling around during those nights that he was away from home!
She once asked me how do I trust my husband given that he wasn’t home half of the week. At that time, I simply told her that somehow I just do. But on deeper reflection, my husband had given me no reason not to trust him. Therefore, it would be silly of me to sit down and think what he was up to and where he had gone every other night. Not only was it not productive use of my time, it would have driven me nuts to keep thinking did he or didn’t he. And it is either I trust him completely or I don’t. I don’t think I would be a happy wife trusting a husband 100% only when he is home and 50% when he is away that I need to do some kind of spot check!
Perhaps to some people it is stupid to trust a man so easily. But I also hold on to the belief that if a spouse strays, it is a symptom and not a cause of a troubled marriage, unless the spouse is a serial womaniser of some sort. Even if my husband gives me good reasons to suspect that he is cheating on me and I can’t trust him, then I see only 2 ways to get around this problem. Either I have a heart-to-heart talk with him to resolve my insecurities or I do something practical to confirm or negate my suspicion.
I once had a friend who kept accusing her husband of cheating on her without any concrete proof. She relied on her so-called woman’s instinct. The marriage didn’t work out but I don’t see the husband hooking up with another after the divorce. Perhaps he did cheat, perhaps he didn’t. But imagine being accused of cheating when you are actually innocent. Such suspicions can easily lead to a break down in relationship because the element of trust is totally gone.
Anyway, some people just do not trust others easily, even their own spouses. It may be because of past bitter experiences or it may be a way to protect themselves from being hurt. The interesting question is how much do you trust your spouse?
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Hands down 100%. If I did not trust him we would not work.
I trust mine 100%. That, and his cellphone has a GPS unit in it.
MamaGeek’s last blog post..Haiku - SOS
To be frank I dont trust mine 100%. Well I could say only 80%. I just don’t know why maybe because he cheat me before we get married. Anyway my relationship still work out with him till now and with the 2 kids around now, I really don’t bother what he want to do outside as long as he still come back, gives me money, and carried out all his responsibility as a husband and father.
SueSue’s last blog post..Is She Too Pampered By Us?
my fren once told me that marriage is a warranty not guarantee, and years later, her marriage was a 10 warranty only!! of course, started with a cheating hubby lor… do u agree to wat she said?
wen’s last blog post..Mortgage Plan
I had better trust him, given that he travels all the time.
Emily’s last blog post..Energy crisis
Sometimes I feel not trusting him because he works graveyard shift and comes home late.But if he had an affair out there I can feel it.And i know he don’t have a chance to cheat me here.If we live in m’sia I think I will trust him 50% because of influence of his jerk friends.
i do not easily trusted people. my hubby always said i had think too much. Man is always like that.
Hazel’s last blog post..Chap Goh Meh!
I guess..to me, if a man wants to cheat, he’d do it, regardless. If the woman has insecurities, perhaps it’s really nothing to do with the husband per se…she needs to boost up her confidence level. So, in the event that he does REALLY cheat…she can just pack up and go…with all his money, hopefully! Heh…
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Hubby n I always joke abt his ‘visits’ to his mistress when he’s working late (which is not often) or when he comes back late from his games. I don’t know how a r/ship wud work if u don’t trust ur spouse a 100%. So I do trust him completely.
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I dont trust my hubby 100%, in fact I dont trust any man completely, with regards to being faithful. I can only pray that my man will not cheat on me.
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I trust my husband 100%.
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I trust my husband 100%, wait I am the husband…Yeah, I trust me.
Ha! I’m just laughing at Joe’s comment.
I trust my honey, who also works out of town 2-4 nights a week.
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I don’t trust my hubby 100% too….I don’t know why, I just have some ‘backup’ in case anything happen
I’m with you. I trust mine but I don’t know why I trust him so much.
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I left my husband when I found out he was cheating… That was extremely painful period in my life, but absolutely worth it. I read great book which helped me a lot to deal with anger and frustration and to begin a new life…. Take a look if you are interested (it is in pdf format):
http://www.searchforbalance.org/Site/Survive%20cheating%20and%20infidelity%20in%20bad%20relationship%20ebook_files/Survive_cheating_and_infidelity_in_bad_relationship_ebook_SAMPLE.pdf
HOw can you trust a man completely, when he only comes home for a few days out of the month? My husband has given plenty of reasons not to trust him, starting with constantly talking to his exes. Even after I told him how I felt about it. Now with him working out of town all the time. How can I trust that he isn’t fooling around?
I did trust 100% until lately his behavior has changed…before he leaves on business trip and returning doesn’t want sex. He couldn’t get close enough in bed, now sleeps on edge of his side, erasing e-mails, trying to start fights… something is not right
I been married for 2 years and a half. I Have a 1 Year old baby. First year of our marriage was really good. Secind year while I was pregnant it was still good, but after I gave birth to my baby, my life totally changed. While staying Home for my marternity leave, this Bitch started texting my Husband Just as becoming Friends, I found out I talked to her not to, She agreed. Everything was quiet for a while, But my husband changed, He didnt like me to kiss him or touch him to much, I was thinking it was because I gained weight. I lost a lot of weight and things didt change. My Husband started to get tired of that bitch because she just needed his money. He came to me and said sorry. I forgave him only because he told me the truth and he said that he cant stand her anymore. Now she still Keeps texting him and tells him that she missed him, But i can see it with my eyes that he hates her and he reallly regrets that he ever met her. Now he is nice to me, But I still cant trust him at all, I keep checking on him all the times and he hates it a lot, What should I do??? he really wants me to trust him!!!Before the affair I trusted him too much. I never thought that he could of do this to me…
Here is what i did to bust my man and it worked. I went through his cell phone and found recent calls and wrote down the numbers. If you cant get the phone look at his phone bill to find the calls. I found a website that lets you do a reversal on a cell or unlisted phone number and got the address. I went to that address when my man stepped out and found him there. Here is the site http://www.thecellularconnection.net
good luck