Feb 26 2008
Office Romances
Falling in love with a colleague and having a relationship with him or her while working together can be a very challenging experience. You do need to learn how to manage an office romance because more often than not, you have to face up to the pressure and gossips of other colleagues around you and it may also impact on your work performance.
Dealing with an office romance requires a couple to be able to separate their working and private lives. When I was once working for a banking organization, there was an officer who was interested in one of the department’s clerical staff. They had lunch together a number of times and not too long after, started the dating game. For a while, everything was fine until work got in the way. The officer expected a better work performance from the girlfriend and would sulk if it wasn’t delivered. On the other hand, the clerk found the boyfriend to be too fussy and felt he was dumping all the work on her just because she was the girlfriend. The officer had a few problems getting the cooperation from the other clericals in the same department and to the girlfriend, she seemed like an ‘easy target’ for work delegation, which annoyed her greatly.
Suffice to say, the romance didn’t last because conflicts at work were carried into their lives off work. Both would be sulking after work with neither willing to call the other to resolve their differences and thus, the office romance fizzled out. I guess it’s hard to have to face your partner after work when all you want is to get away when he or she is the source of your unhappiness from 9 to 5 everyday. Anyway, the clerk left the organization shortly after the break up and the ex-boyfriend was secretly smiling when she tendered her resignation.
We can all learn something from this office romance story and perhaps, the following lessons on how to manage an office romance will make things less awkward:
- Separate working and private life. Try to resolve all differences at work professionally in the office without bringing them home.
- Be professional at all times. Do not expect special treatment just because you have a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship going.
- Be discreet. Do not invite gossip by displaying affection publicly because not only it may make co-workers feel awkward, it may also fuels more gossips when things are not going your way.
- Consider job alternatives. If the office romance turns sour, you will still need to see and work with the person everyday. If you know this will be hard for you if it does not work out, getting another job elsewhere would preempt such a situation. Besides, it may ease the pressure off the relationship if both of you are really serious about keeping it going.
Personally, I would switch jobs if I’m were involved in an office romance. It’s not so much the gossip but I just think that not many people can work for or along with their partner. I mean imagine working with your spouse. Can you see a great potential for conflicts daily? I certainly can!
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Yup i believe there’s danger lurking in office romances, cuz it could risks to our career.I think it’s hard to compromised our professionalism into our job and Lots of gossip too!
sweetiepie’s last blog post..The Blank Slate
I don’t know, but, my ex boss and his wife working in same office ler…imagine, 24 hours x 365 days seeing each other….but, their marriage till today, still firm wor….guess it just depend on how you manage your relationship as partner or as colleague.
i had ex-colleagues having their office romances, but so far so good. if i were put in this situation, maybe i will escape too:)
huisia’s last blog post..Jo?s learning problem
I know. I’m working with my husband now. It has been 7 years we worked together since we got married. It’s not easy but we survived.
JO-N’s last blog post..It Brought Tears To His Eyes
I don’t think I can work for/with hubby. He’s too demanding at times n I sometimes take things too personally. But if there’s no other choice, I’m sure something can be worked out.
slavemom’s last blog post..Let’s Play Domino
my bosses are spouses and they quarrel ALL the time!
miche’s last blog post..Perfectionist
Office Romance: Worked for me! We are still married after nearly four years.
Jacki’s last blog post..No Passport Required: Beaches of Denmark
I met my husband at my last job. I left because I could not longer work with him AND live with him.
If me, I definitely would switch job too or maybe switch to other department which has no job-relationship with him.
Martini’s last blog post..A Date with My Little Boy
I could never work with my husband!!!
Heh…I met my dear Mr.T at my workplace. We actually worked well together. Suffice to say, I told him he needed a ‘change of job’ after dating for 3 months. He promptly got another job….
Hee hee hee…I’ll never work for him either. It’s just too Yoko Ono - John Lennon to me….
mott’s last blog post..Wonder woman?
Agree, I don’t think it’s easy working together day in day out. Some companies may have a policy about inter-office romance. If I were involved in one, I would request to be in a different department to minimize work conflicts, if that’s at all possible. For one of the parties to give up the job may be a big sacrifice in itself, especially if he or she has worked for the company for a period of time. Not easy.
bp’s last blog post..A taste of Singapore
IMHO, the first three points you mentioned are important. Which is why it probably worked for me when I was in a serious relationship with one of my colleagues a long, long time ago. In fact we were so discreet, even our friends at work weren’t sure whether there was something going on or not. Then he changed jobs, I changed jobs, he moved to another city. Eventually we broke up. Would we still be together had we not changed jobs? Probably. But that’s a different issue.
My point is, if you want to, you can make an office romance work out.
tanya25m’s last blog post..An Update And A Fart