Mar 26 2008
Why Women Cry
How often have you seen a man crying? In my whole life, I think I can count the number of times that I have actually witnessed men around me cried but I have lost count of the number of times seeing women cry.
My husband can watch an extremely sad movie and not shed a tear while I will have to reach for a box of tissue. Same with my dad and other males in my family - you won’t catch a tear. Once when I asked my husband why wasn’t he sympathising with the character in the movie, he just bluntly told me, “It’s only a show!” Sometimes, during times like these that I wonder whether I married a robot.
Apart from the scientific explanations revolving around hormones and tear ducts which make women cry more than men, I have a few theories myself of why women cry:
- We are the more sensitive beings. Generally, women are the ones who remember other peoples’ birthdays and arrange the parties. We are the ones who buy others gifts. We care more about the little details in life and are more attuned to the feelings of others around us. We have the instinct to tell if someone is feeling sad without them letting us know. In short, we are much more aware of the emotional currents going on around us. With that EQ superiority, isn’t it surprising then that women tend to cry more?
- To make men give in. Women are always thought of as the weaker sex which aroused men’s protective instinct. So, during arguments which go nowhere, cry and men may relent. A lot of times, seeing a woman in tears will make a man’s heart feel heavy and he will try to give in. You may think of crying as a manipulative tool of women but it’s one of the ways to stir a man’s emotions. And since women are endowed with more tears, why not use it when it suits us?
- To express our sadness and frustrations. Crying makes us feel better and help to release pent-up emotions. Women might seem to cry a lot for no apparent reason but most of time, when sadness is lurking, we allow it to come to the fore, have a good cry and then move on. Comparatively, men will tend to surpress it, brood and let it linger.
- That was how we were brought up. From young, it has been ingrained in us that boys don’t cry while it is ok for girls to shed tears. Males have to be tough and strong while females the opposite. So, is it any wonder why men supress their emotions while women will become teary-eyed when they are both confronted with the same situation?
Speaking as a woman, I do have my complaints about men behaving like a robot with little emotions. But still, that is also the male version that I was brought up and is comfortable with. It would be kind of wierd if my husband cries as much as I do. And I don’t think many women would be able to tolerate a cry-baby husband either. Am I right?
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I really think its just socially more acceptable for girls to cry. It’s been studied a lot how parents respond to boys & girls, even babies differently. Girls are consoled, boys are told to “buck up” and that “boys don’t cry.” There have been books upon books written about why these societal messages have been harmful to men, and harmful to relationships. I agree–how fun would it be to hug a telephone pole? I prefer to hug something a little more emotive…
My husband is very free with his emotions, and I’ve seen him cry many times. I am actually less free with my emotions than my DH, he’s much more likely to cry during a movie than I am. I get really embarrassed if I cry in public at all, even at a funeral or a touching church service.
As parents, we try not to put gender stereotypes into it and encourage both our son & our daughter to express themselves and what they are feeling appropriately.
Jennifer’s last blog post..Smuggling Operation
I oso cry my heart out while watching sad dramas. And hubby will be laughing at me. grrrr….
Yeah.. I agree with u. I wouldn’t be comfortable with a husband who cries like a girl.
slavemom’s last blog post..New Toys
I think 90% of married women has depression.That’s why we cry easily.But my hubby is a emotional kind of person.He will cry if it is a very sad movie but not all the time like me.
sweetiepie’s last blog post..Hail in Spring
they are just heartless men!! haha! could it be the hormone? i wld go for tissues like u, and i have never seen men crying over a movie..
wen’s last blog post..Going To The Gym
You know….my boss is soft heart person…talking about family or heard about sad stories, immediately his tear flow freely just like soft woman…..which sometimes, I think it is too much - too emotional, and I do agree with you, that I don’t wish to have hubby that is like my boss……don’t feel secure with him…he,he
I think it’s perfectly normal for men to cry but most men won’t cry. Even if they feel like it, they resist hard coz they think crying is not manly.
Shireen’s last blog post..Sell Your Endowment
Yeah, who would tolerate a husban who crys as much as she does? Crying should/is one of woman’s ultimate weapon sometimes (if not most of the time) to get what we want… besides having a sensitive nature of course.
By the way, thank you for linking up my blog to your new poem blog. Very much appreciated as well
amidrin’s last blog post..Help the animals!!!
I easily shed a tear too and I think it’s ok for men to cry once in awhile.
[…] (or nurturing) instinct in women. In fact it might cause her to shame him or attack him. Why Women Cry | Mom.Dad.Chat More resources on the topic BusterB: Understanding Women Why do men panic when women cry? | […]
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Cheers! Sandra. R.
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