Mar 31 2008
Ugly Men, Beautiful Women
When you see beautiful model-like women being together with ugly men, what comes to your mind? Perhaps, we may think that such a couple just don’t seem suited for each other as they are highly unmatched in looks at first glance.
But according to a research I read in a news article, it seems that the most contented marriages are those whereby the women married men less attractive than themselves. It suggested that women tend to be less picky when it comes to looks as long as the men can help them to reproduce, going by the laws of evolution. On the other hand, men are more likely to choose females based on physical attractiveness because of their inclination to pass on their genes.
The other possible reason why beautiful women end up with ugly men is because women tend to go for males that exudes charm and power and combined with wealth and status, that would just be perfect. So, men might go for looks but women might be attracted to something else entirely that has little to do with how handsome he may be.
On a personal level, my husband once told me all his family members were asking what his pleasant-looking sister saw in a man who was pimpled-faced and a little overweight when she first brought him home. Well, perhaps the answer is in the above paragraphs.
But whatever the research may show, I still think that looks matter, whether you are a male or female. Because it is through your looks that people form their first impression and if you look beautiful, that would heightened others’ interest in you at first glance. A bit shallow, I know, but that is what first impression is all about, right?
So, would you consider dating someone who is short, fat and ugly? Put simply, would you go for looks or money?
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money! cause if the good looking guy cant even support u and give u security, wats the point? besides good looking guy can easily be snatched!
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Plain and simple - an ugly man with a beautiful woman is usually an ugly rich man.
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I would not consider dating men who is short, fat and ugly. Not to mention if they are all those three elements combined together. Yucks! It’s really shallow of me to think this way, I know. So sorry, I just couldn’t help it. Well, unless they have at least one thing about them which is so extra ordinary and very attractive that it could move my heart to look at their way, else they might not stand a chance to date me. I am not really into money that kind of thing. If he’s good looking and have money, that’s just a bonus.
But usually rich man are ugly or not good looking. So, beautiful women with a rich man? People would think 5X that the women is into his money, not him. And the rich man is into her looks, using her as a trophy, might not love.
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I must be in trouble, because my husband looks like Brad Pitt. In fact the first time I saw him I thought, “nope, this one is way too good looking.”
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I think and I have been told that my husband is an attractive man, but I think it’s who the person is rather than what he/she looks like that is what should count.
I’m used to seeing men with women who are cuter than them…but if I see a man who is attractive with a woman who is homely that really makes me wonder. “She must be really special/have a great personality” types of thoughts.
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To me, what I look for in a man is his heart. He must have a heart of gold, must have a stable job, good salary, caring, responsible, etc. Looks are really secondary. Of course if a man has all the above qualities but looks like a beast, I will not marry him too.
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A simple case of opposites attract. I don’t mind dating someone who is short, fat and ugly. There’s nothing wrong with being that. As long as he has a good character.
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I try not to find hubby that are ugly, also not so handsome….really, personally, cause if he is so ugly, then, everyone will comment it anywhere I go with him. Maybe, first few years, I’m ok, but, if whole life keep receiving this kind of comment, I will definitely raise white flag….ha,ha…
Long story short, men are attracted to looks and personality slightly, women attracted to a combination of looks, power, wealth, novelty, and personality. But being good looking definitely helps men a lot too.
you know, looks only go so far. i spent years dating the best looking guy; in high school, the jocks.. in college, the rocker bad boy hot, collin farell look alikes to david beckham look alikes… i admit, they were thrilling and fun but i couldn’t have a single decent conversation with any of them. they were like an empty vase to me… whats the point of having a vase if you don’t get flowers to put in it? most of these hot guys go through life with the purpose of just being hot and relying on being with many women as a measure of their self worth.
on the other hand, i had another friend in college whom i only considered “friend”, but over time, he grew on me… yea he wasn’t the best looking, yea he wasn’t sought after but you know what he made me HAPPY, he called when he would say he would, he was never late for a date, he was always considerate, etc. and through this, i realized this was the kind of treatment i deserved not a crappy one. he knew how to treat a woman with the respect she deserves.. these hot guys don’t know what they got most of the time… but a man who knows your worth is always more desirable.
Some of my experience include the following; I work with men that
are married or w/girlfriends so the men are attractive, I’m a below average guy; the job I’m at interacts with beautiful women around.
Most of the attractive dudes I know have multiple “girls” around them so they are constantly broke. One dude is 70 years old and now has twins by his other girlfriend. I am single alone dude with relatively few bills to pay. So I have freedow vs. being tied down.
I beginning to realize that I work better without the stress of a girlfriend and kids. No wonder all these good looking dudes are empty in the head.
I see this more on TV than real life (especially ads), but I did have a female friend who married a much less attractive man. Based on this, the women that do this are probably controlling to a degree. They may feel that they can call the shots more in the relationship and get away with it because the husband would not leave her for another woman, because no other woman would be interested in him. The man, for his part, probably thinks he died and went to Heaven having gotten a woman like this. Good looking men tend to be more self assured and want to call the shots. Perhaps that is it: attractive people of both sexes call the shots more and want to control because they are confident.
I’m a short guy (5′7″) and I have bad pock-mark scarring all over my face, and gap-teeth. I’ve tried for MANY years to be a great man, to develop a bunch of endearing, irresistible qualities that women would LOVE, and which would hopefully override my physical short comings…
I learned to cook, and I learned that household cleaning is ok for a guy, so I do it all the time. I play musical instruments and I sing. I’m funny, and good with power tools. I can fix ANYTHING - cars, computers, small appliances, furniture, plumbing. I also learned about relationships, and realized that communication, patience, understanding, compromise and laughter are the things that make something special last for a long time. I even spent six years doing volunteer work with disadvantaged children so I could learn to be confident and caring around children. I’m a strong, confident guy who really cares about the people in his life and has dedicated much of my time to helping other people, even complete strangers.
NONE OF THAT WORKED. I’m in my early 30s now, and I can’t get a date to save my life! Women ignore me. They give me fake phone numbers when I ask them out, or say that they “have a boyfriend” already. Then, I’ll see them flirting with some tall and good-looking guy right next to me! Guess he was her boyfriend, right? I’ve also had women tell me that they need some time alone, “to find themselves,” so they can’t date me right now. Then, those same women end up dating a taller, better-looking friend of mine the NEXT week! I’ve even had a girl ask out a taller, good-looking friend of mine, then, when he told her “no thanks,” she asked me out - SECOND. Like I would go out with a girl who REALLY wants to date my tall and good-looking friend! I’m not going to be “SECOND PLACE” to anyone! Either you want ME, or you don’t! You can’t want my friend FIRST, then, because he doesn’t like you, you decide that you might as well date me! That’s really messed-up…
Women are shallow, and becoming MORE shallow with time. As they get better jobs and more education, they don’t need a man for financial security or emotional support as much anymore, so they stop choosing guys based on their personality. Instead, they judge men more and more on how tall and good-looking they are. I guess they figure, “I’m probably going to be divorced in two years anyway… I might as well date and marry a HOT guy!” Too bad they could have soooo much more, if they would just give a guy like me a SINGLE chance…
I agree with the above poster. Inner beauty does not amount to diddly sh*t these days. Men…please, please, please WAKE UP!! You will NEVER get a beautiful women with a good personality alone! If you want beautiful women, there are rules you need to follow. You MUST have low bodyfat and with decent muscle mass. You MUST either have a full head of hair or otherwise shave it all off. You MUST learn to have a good fashion sense.
Do that and I can just about garuntee the hotties will freely offer their love to you on a silver platter. ANY guy can go from a “4″ to a “9″ if he works his ass off in the gym for a solid year (no cheating), eats right (no cheating on this either) and gets a style makeover. Forget personality, guys…that sh*t don’t work.
I followed my own advise here and went from being a 28 year old virgin who had nothing but rejection after rejection to show for after 10 solid years of constant effort, to being able to walk into a nightclub on a busy night and pull the hottest woman there with little effort (she usually approaches me).
Dramatic difference…yet I only changed ONE FRIGGIN THING — the friggin OUTER PACKAGE and ONLY that!! So much for all this “inner beauty” crap. That will make you “friend” material, but not relationship material. Got it? Again, men, y’all need to WAKE UP and realize that you are falling victim to a popular myth that will only serve to further confuse you and HURT YOU. Hit the d*mn gym, lay off the friggin pizza, get any skin problems treated, get with the times on your wardrobe…do that and d*mmit, you WILL get an attractive woman — EASILY!!
Don’t believe in all that “genetics” crap. Beauty isn’t something you’re born with or a hand you’re dealt. It is MADE.
BTW, even if you’re short, this STILL works. I remember some years back on 2 separate occasions having friends that were about 5′5-ish (short) and yet the women loved them — because they were MUSCULAR and TONED — and I, the taller guy, was getting ignored. Good looks are a powerful thing, men. If they’ll overlook a criminal record and abusive behavior (ya know, the physically attractive “bad boys” all the ugly “nice guys” whine about)…then they’ll certainly overlook shortness.
Now get your butts in the gym and lift your way to a decent love life, alright? :).
BTW…at the poster named “Shorty”:
You have accepted the uncomfortable reality. That’s good. But, don’t fall into the trap of giving up and b*tching about how unfair it is.
You need to be proactive. I was fat, had acne problems and had a sh*t sense of style…but I fixed those problems after accepting reality for what it was. Now I get attractive women with little effort.
You have acne scars and bad teeth. FIX that! Invest in dental surgery that will fix your teeth. Expensive, yes, but at this point you have nothing to lose and you know that. Invest in a dermatologist and see if they can reduce the scarring on your face. Again…at this point, you need to just spend the money to get it done otherwise these women will continue to reject you because of your looks.
One thing I can say for sure is that the problem is NOT — I repeat, NOT — your height. A good looking short guy will get chosen over an average looking 6-footer — by ATTRACTIVE women, too.
I’ve spent my life hearing two things:
1.) “Good God, you’re good looking. You’re very lucky.”
2.) “Normally guys as hott as you are so shallow. I’m glad I gave you a chance, though, because you’ve ended up being the perfect guy: handsome AND deep. I was going to ignore you entirely - write you off as being a player and move on - but I suppose fate stepped in.”
G………………………..thanks?????
Time, and time, and time again, good looking men such as myself are shut down - all but ignored - by members of the opposite sex because we intimidate them. Don’t believe me???? Do yourself a favor and google “why good looking men can’t get women” for a few minutes. You’ll find the same thing I did: Account after account of women describing how counter productive good looks in a man can be.
Is it our fault that we developed such attractive features? Is it our fault then when we make love to you, you scream twice as loud as you would with an ugly man but worry twice as much about our loyalty once we exit the room??????
Most women are shallow, cruel creatures that are so self-centered and so one dimensional that they ACTUALLY believe that it is alright to rudely reject a guy simply because he is hott. Why is that? Is it because you actually think our feelings were replaced with good looks? Do you honestly believe that we get “no, you can’t have my number” so rarely that it doesn’t bother us when you proudly spout “take a hike, hott stuff” in front of your giggling friends??? What do you think?
I, personally, believe that many women avoid good looking men for one reason, and one reason only - they are CONVINCED, as a result of their self-absorbed, hyper-sexist thought processes, that good looking men screw them and lose them because that is what all good looking men do. Well let me enlighten you, ladies…..
The reason guys like me sleep with you and leave shortly after is because you’re FREAKING NUTS and probably have very little in YOU’RE HEAD aside from paranoid, jealous chaos. Hah - but no, no, no that couldn’t be true, right!? I mean, that would mean that you’d ACTUALLY have to do some work on YOUR SELF and become more interesting - and that’s the guys job, isn’t it?????
To the ugly guys - I can empathize, but I cannot sympathize. You and I suffer from the same disease, but as a result of different circumstances - the disease being what has become of the average American woman.
There is one type of guy that is always sure to pick up women, though - wealthy, powerful men. That, my brothers, says it all doesn’t it? How sad and pathetic women can be……..
I would like to add to the comment posted by “fromuglytohot” on October 2, 2009 1:53 a.m.
Get into the right actvities such as skiing, rollerblading, any and all sports, rock band. These activities impress women all around.
so i need to hit the gym now …later guys.. hahahaha
I am a female of 33 when I was thin, men the guys I would date would mistreat me..often saying I love you but I am not in love with you, when I was heavy the guys I would date would say they were attracted to what was inside but yet I would watch them make fools of themselves right in front of me when talking to gorgeous friends and neighbors which hurt me.
I never cared about money,because I had my own. I never cared about looks because I can find the beauty in anyone. my requirements were basic and simple..treat me with respect,enjoy physical intimacy,be somewhat intelligent kind and gentle.oh and don’t be a total slob and expect me to slave after you because your to lazy to do it yourself.
well I guess my picker is broken because my first boyfriend took my virginity and then went on to other women,my second beat the heck out me. my third died of a drug overdose because he was depressed,my next loved me but wasn’t in love with me but we are the best of friends now. and my last one that just broke my heart said he knew I would always love him more than he could ever love me and he was so verbally abusive I now require therapy to fix it all.
this is the bottom line for men and women from what I have learned. Yes the package is important…not because of the person you want but because the person you are. you have to love yourself before anyone can love you. I was so busy trying to find someone to love me and that I could love that I failed to love myself. I ended up in relationship after relationship with men who took all I had to give without reciprocation. typically either I would run like hell or they would dump me…only to have them realize what they lost and beg me to come back. but by the time they realized what they did, they had burned any love I had for them out of me.
I am going a year without dating, and suggest anyone in this situation do the same. take a year to learn to love YOU! F**** women or men for that matter. Fall in love with yourself and learn what you are willing to deal with and accept and what you cant. I am not saying become a stuck up A**hole who expects perfection,I am saying learn to love yourself so if that woman or man says no,or abuses you or turns out to be a drain of energy you can love yourself to move on,or better spot them and avoid them.
I am back in the gym,I am in college I am changing careers and I am in therapy working on myself to try to figure why I always end up in relationships like this so I don’t repeat past mistakes that just make me absolutely miserable.
IF someone treats you like SH*T its better to be alone and live your life then put up with some B*tch or A***hole just for the sake of having someone.
I want a passionate,intelligent,kind,gentle,honest human being and if I can’t find that then I will be quite content living my life without anyone.
So my advice to everyone is to learn to love and respect yourself because regardless of what you look like,and what your gender is you deserve love,happiness and joy and if all your finding in this world is people who are bad for you. Well you can do bad all by yourself.
I’d rather live alone with a cat and a lot of frigging porn than date a guy again who mistreats me,uses me,lies to me,cheats on me and sucks me dry to the point I am empty just for the sake of having a warm body next to me at night that may or may not roll over and interact with me.
I hope all you guys find love, and wish you the best of luck. But all of us girls aren’t bad and not all of us are after money and power though that seems to be the trend these days which I think is really kinda sad.Just love who you are and respect yourself if a girl can’t love you and see how special you are because she is blind deaf and dumb than quite honestly your better off without her.
But one problem I am finding with you guys is that a lot of you seem to want what is in the porn videos and on the television. I am not saying you shouldn’t want someone who is attractive, but I do think you should be realistic and know the difference between Real beauty and fake beauty. I am not getting a boob job for anyone,nor am I gonna bleach my hair blond. and if no one finds my Big Jewish a*S attractive then F*ck em. keeping oneself attractive is awesome,healthy and great but to the point that even a real set of boobs isn’t good enough and that the only thing that trips your trigger is something that barely moves and hangs in midair is ridiculous. To over look a female because she she is “normal” is your choice but its also your loss. I can’t compete with models and porn stars and I am not going to. This is the way god made me like it or don’t.
I am also extremely fed up with men who are so hooked on porn they ignore you. I like a little porn too,but if its too the point it consumes your entire life that it interferes with the real life relationship you have with the person you are with not only does it damage her self esteem but it makes you loose out on the physical intimacy you could have because you are so worried about fantasizing about the woman you don’t have.
I am also extremely fed up with women who are so hooked on money that they will overlook the construction worker or the salesmen who might cherish them because they are breaking their back for the man who will take care of them and spoil them. what in the heck happened to love? what in the heck happened to marriage and for richer or poorer and sickness and in health?
Just love yourself,if the rest of the world is too shallow,greedy and selfish to appreciate you for what you have to offer at least you know you didn’t sell out and become one of them.
I just red FromUglyToHot’s reply and I have to really applaud him. Right now I’m going through this exact same thing and its making me so depressed I don’t even want to live any more!
I’m 5′7, 193 pounds and not only do I consider my self not very attractive but I feel I am ugly and even a bit scary looking! Ever sense I became a truck driver I gained 35-40 pounds.
EVERY and I mean EVERY time I go into a night club all I ever do is get my ass rejected… I mean its so bad that women wont even stick around to talk to me… I’m a nice guy.
Very sweet nice guy and you think these women care? Hell no! All I keep reading about on the internet is why do hot women date ugly guys? SERIOUSLY!
When’s the last time you saw guys who looks like George Robert (Norm from Cheers) or Seth Logan (Knocked Up) dating women like Holly Madison (Girls next door) or Jessica Alba!
You NEVER see this unless the guys rich and famous or these women who look like that are Escort Prostitutes! 9 times out of ten you see guys who are tall, masculine with handsome looks with these little hot Christina Aguilera and Shakira type women.
I mean for f*ck sakes lets be realistic and tell the truth here. I do go to the gym and work out hard but I need to loose 35 pounds and maybe look into some cosmetic surgery.
Its time I stopped being so depressed and feeling helpless and started doing something about this.
To lonely girl:
I think the resin why guys have treated you like this is from what I red, you seem like a really nice person. And people can take advantage of that. I know its not right but I think this is what’s happening. Guys want beauty queens and there seems to be a few guys out there dating these women. How there doing it I have no idea. I pretty much given up on women. For me most if not all these women will not even give me the time of day.
And it really breaks my heart because I know I’m a good guy once people get to know me. But I’m very sensitive and when a girl is acting like a rude immature bitch I can’t take that sh*t. I’ve told a few women off in night clubs who were being rude to me when all I was just trying to do was talk to them and get to know them. Women have got such attitudes on them now a days I just have to shake my head. Least the women here where I live but I’m sure all very hot women now a days are all the same no matter where you go.
And I know guys are jerks too. Not all guys but the players or the player wannabes. So the jerks, the a$$ holes date the hot trashy women who are no better then the jerks there with. So I’ll never get a girlfriend because I’m not good looking enough and I wear my heart on my shoulder. can’t help it.
You been single all your life and every time you even try to get into a relationship you get shot down yet you see all these other guys getting into relationships with good looking women and they seem to have no trouble attracting women, so lets see how long you stay happy when you know your going to be alone for the rest of your life because of resins that you really have no controle over.
Its easy to say don’t give a f*ck if women act like that. But sooner or later your going to realise that most if not all women act that way towards you and there is nothing you can do about it. So yah I’m sad and I don’t smile that often. There is no answer to this. Either you got it or you don’t I guess. And I don’t have it and I never will.
Hi.
It’s interesting to read what you guys have said. i am a 24 year old female and i am told often that i am beautiful. not a view i hold myself really, but i guess when i compare myself to those around me theni do stand out a little. i don’t meet any nice guys. i attract good looking rich idiots who just presume that i have no brains or intellect and treat me as such. the fact that i am an operations manager and pretty much run the company i work for and earn a good salary seems to be completely irellivant. nice guys don’t come anywhere near me.
i fell for a guy who i was seeing for a while who i have been told is in a totally different league to me ie older, bit shorter, grey hair and not considered to have decent looks really and i didn’t matter to me in the slightest, i think he’s amazing. yet even he, who tells me i am stunning and knows me very well i think still looks at me for my looks only. i don’t think he sees me as potential wife and mother material as i am and would want to be seen. you guys think its hard thinking you might be the lesser good looking one, but honestly it is no easier on the other side. most guys are after one thing and think its okay to grab me or make comments at me whenever it suits them.
i dont know how to break this issue either but it is frustrating all the same
To Sasha:
It could be that the resin the nice guys (like me)
who don’t approach is, women who are really hot looking often seem to be ladled as shallow.
And so often it seems like it is either the tall and handsome guys who are dating good looking women or it seems to be the bad boys with the “gangta” thing going on.
Its the whole alpha male thing. I have nothing against being confident and some what oaf a bad ass. I have four cool tattoos on my arms and I can be a bit of a bad boy I guess.
But I’ll tell you right now what is 100% important to me in a girl. I want to meet and date and marry a girl who is attractive of course, but some one who is a sweet person and some one who I can at least have an intelligent conversation with. But for me its about really careing for one another and not its all about ME!
Things we have in common is really important too. I really am a hopless romantic and I feel that now a days guys just cant seem to be that way… Its not love any more its sex and one night stands or people getting together for the wrong resins. What ever happened to respect?
I don’t know… It hurts me allot because I just feel if I was that tall and very handsome looking guy women would at least give me a chance and then get to know the real me. But it never seems to happen because most girls where I live already have boyfriends.
I mean it seems with the women out here by the time there 14 there dating! I was allot older when I first started going on dates. I’m 37 and its really hard to find any decent women here.
I don’t like night clubs because most women are way to shallow and rude and think its ok to be this way just because there looking so hot and they think its fun to reject guys who aren’t there type.
So i’m sort of in the same boat as your in I guess.
Bod23 you sound bitter and your feeling sorry for your self.