Apr 16 2008
Do Opposites Attract?
We have all heard that opposites attract but do they really? After all, would you date someone who is a total opposite to you in terms of personality and likes and dislikes?
When we are asked to specify what we are looking for in a mate, I think most of us would say that we want someone who has something in common with us. That we want someone whom we have something to talk about and share some common interests.
But funnily, when I met my husband, we were opposites in many aspects. He is from Hong Kong while I’m from Malaysia. He was trendy, I was not. He listened to Chinese songs while I only listened to English singers. He didn’t eat any spicy food while they were my favorite. Even now, he thinks all people are inherently selfish while I feel there is compassion in our hearts.
In many ways, we are different, not only in tastes but also thinking and outlook. In fact, back then, my friends used to feel that our relationship wouldn’t last because we were so different although they noted that perhaps opposites attract.
Where my husband is concerned, he says that not only opposites can attract, it also helps to sustain the relationship. For instance, if you are bad-tempered, it makes sense to look for someone who is patient instead because imagine having two bad-tempered people in a marriage. Similarly, if you are someone who is very trusting of others, it would be good to have a partner who is perhaps, not as naive to balance things out.
Of course, people tend to ask how can two people who do not have anything in common can get together and make it work. My personal experience is once the initial heady feeling of being in love wears off, such a relationship can work if both partners find ways to accommodate and even adopt the interests of one another. For example, after so many years as a couple, my husband now can eat even spicier stuff than I can.
So, do you think that opposites attract applies to you?
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weird, a lot of hongkies think people are inherently selfish, maybe this is their culture?
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I think people with different strong points and different interest can still get together by having different portfolio.
I think different personality traits can really complement each other but the core values have to be the same or you’re in big trouble…
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agreed with don mills diva.. and I think the most important thing is to compromise.. instead of “you’re wrong” there should be more “I’m sorry”
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I think me and my husband are different in a lot of ways, but very similar in others.
Ha,ah…I think it works…I am for instance, a bad temper while my hubby is more patient….etc, etc….
I’ve never been attracted to my exact opposite. DH and I found we had the exact same CD collections when we got married. And on the things that are important, we agree. However he is athletic & outdoorsy, and I’m an intellectual nerdy musician type.
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