May 29 2008
Sibling Rivalry
When you were growing up, do you often fight with your siblings and argue with them for the slightest reason? Personally, I don’t remember fighting with my brothers and sister that much until it hurts our relationship but in a lot of families, sibling rivalry can become a serious issue.
In my husband’s family, his sisters used to fight with each other until one finally moved out the moment she was able to afford doing so. The one who moved out, who is the third child among 4 siblings, often complained that the mom was always siding with the second sister which intensified the feeling of unfairness whenever an argument took place. So, she always felt that she was the least favourite among the four, which I think translated to a rivalry for affection and attention when young.
Now that they are all grown and living separately, they still get together now and then as most siblings would. I guess sibling rivalry is just a natural part of family life and when we all have passed that stage, we still can remain on civil terms with each other with brotherly or sisterly affection.
But whether those rivalries would have lasting impact on us psychologically is of course another issue. After all, it is indeed difficult for parents to be consistently fair at all times to every child, isn’t it?
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My (2 years younger) brother and I fought all the time. As we got older the fights got worse and he hit me a lot. Which was permitted. My parents said I provoked him. We’d both get into trouble.
We don’t speak anymore. We weren’t friendly to begin with but when he was 16 and I was 18, he did something stupid that ripped apart my entire family. He went to jail and I have not spoken with him for about ten years.
Why did I have an only child? Oh yeah, now I remember.
RubiaLala’s last blog post..Look At Me, I’m Growing
Oh I think it’s got something to do with characters too. Parents role is partly to be blame but not completely the parent’s fault. Sometimes, it’s the child’s characters that make it hard to stop the rivary between them even though the parents did their best to prevent or stop that from happening.
amidrin’s last blog post..Six Word Memoir
There was eight of us so there was some fighting, but we knew better then to take it to far or else we would get into serious trouble.
I was the youngest n the age gap btw us (my 2 bros) were vy big (8 n 11 yrs). So there was no sibling rivalry coz they acted more like a guardian than sibling.
slavemom’s last blog post..Birthday Celebration For CE
I read this book awhile back, and there are some nice examples of how to manage the rivalry… altho’ when it comes to real life, it’s easier to said than done somehow.
Agree with you it’s hard to be consistently fair, because each child is unique and even then, not easy to try and meet his/her needs without neglecting the others.
bp’s last blog post..History Alive! @ St Charles
oopps, I don’t know sibling rivalry can be so serious, I tot it’s just a phase that some people went through when they were young.
Martini’s last blog post..Bleach the Movie
Till today, something, we, sisters still argue ler..he,he….guess it is normal and will give us more bonding…..It is true that it is hard to be fair, but, guess, my sons just know when to fight and when to love each others…