Jun 13 2008
Unsolicited Advice
As parents, we try to do the best for our kids. But different parents do have different perceptions and parenting styles on what is best for their own children.
As a result, I find that, at times when relatives gather, they will offer their advice on what you should or shouldn’t do for your kids. Now that I’m a parent myself, I too have my own opinions on other people’s kids but I keep them to myself or at most, share them with my husband in private. I feel it just isn’t right telling other people how to bring up or discipline their kids when I’m no expert and they are not asking for my opinion in any way.
I’m writing this because I just recalled my husband’s eldest sister being told that she should arrange extra tuition for her daughter who is not doing so well in certain subjects at school. The advice came from other relatives who feel this is best for the daughter. I actually saw my sister-in-law feeling pressured by all the “advice” but in the end, she held her ground.
Of course, people mean well most of the time when they offer advice but sometimes, it may not be what the recipient wants to hear. If we feel we should say something, we should also know when to back off because not everyone is open-minded enough to accept everything you say.
For me, when unsolicited advice is offered, I tend to nod my head, say OK and make the person feel I have listened. Then, I just move on to another topic without given them a chance to go round and round with their advice. In other words, I try to cut it short without being rude. Care to share how you deal with unsolicited advice?
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My sister is almost 2 years younger than I am but she has 7 kids. I often ask her for advise as well as my cousin who has many many years of experience as a teacher.
Because I value their advice and think they have both got experience and raised/taught successful and well rounded children
I listen to them
I may not do everything they say but I often find their advice is wise and helpful
I value them both greatly
jen’s last blog post..The Simple Womans Daybook 1
I call it ass-vice. And it is one of my pet peeves. It takes a lot for me to nod silently. Because what I really want to do is tell you to shut it and then mention all of the faults of your very own royally screwed up children.
RubiaLala’s last blog post..The Pants Story
depends on the opinion, if i find some it useful i will listen, if not i will nod and dont do it.. and go home to complain to hubby..
wen’s last blog post..Best Seller Books
I do pretty much the same as you do.
Smile & nod. Advice is *usually* only worth what you pay for it.
Jen’s last blog post..Are You Protected by Smith & Wesson?
Ha,ha…for me, I will listen just to make them happy, but, if good, I will apply it…if not, no harm to listen anyway…he,he….
It’s ez to deal with unsolicited advice if u’re not living with that person or don’t c that person often. If it’s good advice, listen intently n ask more questions. If not, don’t hv to argue and make the person feel uncomfortable (coz usually they’re our elders). Ur method works for me too.
slavemom’s last blog post..Double Celebration