Feb 08 2010
A Second Baby?
I always get asked this question a lot: When are you going to have a second one? I have one son now and he is already 4.5. People always have this thinking that once your first kid reaches a certain age, then it’s time to crank up the production line and have another addition to the family.
Of course, I have to agree that the more, the merrier. If you can really put in the effort to be a good parent, then I think having a bunch of kids is a great idea. Personally, I think having 2 kids is ideal. Even my mom-in-law thinks so. She is always pestering my husband to hasten the process of having another baby.
But the more I think about it, the more hesitant I feel. After having one child, I know what it requires to look after another baby. And I just don’t feel I would be able to cope. It is the emotional support that you need to give to the child to ensure she grows up happy, confident and secure. These days, bringing up a child is no longer just about feeding and schooling her. It involves a lot of mental work as well in the sense that you need to give her all the love she can get and understand her before you start screaming on top of your lungs.
And if you have another one, you still need to take care of the first. How you divide your time and attention is also another issue. Of course, people always tell me that once you have the second kid, everything will come naturally. Just like how it was when you had your first. You do the best that you can and somehow, things will turn out alright.
Well, I suppose so. But still, the feelings of fear and uncertainty are still hard to shake off. I don’t think I dare to try because once you fall pregnant, there is no turning back. You just need to zoom ahead, for better or worse!
I have 2 boys under the age of three. I have been separated for 2 weeks now from a complete jerk. I had my first baby unplanned at 28 now I’m 31. Although my marriage was shaky been married to a man who behaved like a college frat boy and that one day I would leave him, I wanted to have more then one child. I thought about myself and wanted to have at least two kids before the age of 35 before complications arrived with having kids with aging eggs. I then thought that my son needed a sibling he could depend on and look out for each other should somthing happen to me…. then I made the desicion that if I met someone in the future it would be with someone who did not want to have kids and elimate the half brother -half sister thing for my son and make it easier if his childhood companion would be full blood. I was not thinking financial for myself but for my son. I hope this helps.